enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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And suddenly I remembered that I am in Italia...amazing how you can sort of start forgetting where you are (I understand why the Italians perhaps forget how old this stuff is)

ACK. Sorry for all of the spelling and grammatical errors in my last post. I suppose I was rushing to meet the superstar Italian who is so nice to me!

Actually, I think we have a really good balance. I'm not feeling desperately in love with him or anything, but I feel a deep respect for him. We've had incredibly interesting conversations, so I think we both know where the other is coming from. It's a really, really lovely and precious thing.

Yesterday he said something about having to get his ENglish to a very high level and to learn French to come to Canada, but I don't really think he meant it. I often think of these Italians - Marco, especially - as birds of paradise. They wouldn't be happy outside of Italia.

Andrea might be a slightly different case, only given that he is a biologist and could no doubt earn more money in Canada. From what he tells me, it's not terribly lucrative in Italy, which I believe (but at the same time he is caring for his elderly parents and his father was a doctor, so I don't think the family is hurting for money). He also loves nature. When we went to San Gimign!no the other day he was looking at real estate posters because he wants to rent an apartment in the country so that he can get away and breathe.

But all that said, after the half hour pasta demonstration that he gave me yesterday (this is made like this, this this and this; you must have the bigger ones of this and they must be lisce (smooth); you must buy Italian pasta because the surface is made so that it is a bit rough and the sauce will adhere better to it), I know that he belongs in Italia. He's the kind of Italian who, when he travels, eats pasta (actually, he told me this, although he hasn't travelled outside of Europe because of his past heart problem; this is very interesting though, because his sisters are really into India/China). I mean, have you ever had a date take you to a grocery store and spend an hour explaining just a tiny wee bit of the ingredients used in cooking? No, I thought not. And the lesson is to be continued.

Last evening we also went to an art supply store so that I could buy a sanguine pencil. Of course, he would not let me pay. He wanted me to have that and also other things. It is very embarrassing not to be able to buy things for yourself. I had also mentioned that I needed to buy some cream for my legs (now I know not to ever mention anything again!) and he ordered some special cream for me! Ack!

Anyhow. No more about Andrea. It is what it is. He's a wonderful guy and I would absolutely date him if I were Italian and I lived here, but I really can't move here. It's not an easy life. I know when I get back to Canada I will be complaining like crazy, but it is true that I have it very, very good there. I have security, prosperity and peace.

OK. So.....today is all about art. I keep on waffling about going to Rome, because the time really is short here. I may have to skip the planned cycling journey, simply because the weather is sort of so-so and I'm running out of time! Yesterday turned out to be nice, but today is starting out cool and grim. I think I'm going to put on some tights under my skirt and go up to S!n Min!ato or one of the gardens and do some drawing. Yesterday I only did a little bit of drawing, in the one park, but I was very pleased with what came out. I think I am starting to loosen up. I am looking forward to drawing with my new sanguine pencil.

Tomorrow I am booked in at the Uff!zi, which is very special to me. I will get there early in the morning and will likely spend at least 4 hours there. Thursday, I am not sure. Maybe that would be a day to go to either the Cinque T3rre or to Rome. I could go to Rome for a day and half, could I not? Yes, maybe.

GAH! I can't believe how quickly the time goes. It will already be Monday soon and then I am off to home on Tuesday. Boo!! I really do feel like extending my ticket (I could call Air Canada and my boss would be fine with it), but then I'd be left with not many holidays for the rest of the year. If I can manage to be disciplined and save money I have decided to go to Paris and then Italy in early October, for about nine days.

And then...drum roll...I am coming to Italy for three months next summer. There's no way around it but that summer is the best time to leave my job. Nothing much happens then. I could take leave for July, August and September, say, rent an apartment here, etc. The main reasons for the probable timing are the work thing, but also because the art schools here (we asked at the painting store) offer programs in the summer. I would really prefer to come in the winter to avoid the damn tourists, but that would be crazy in my job as January and February are crazy-busy with the national line dances. I suppose I could change jobs. Have been thinking about it, anyhow. Hmmm...many things taking shape.

I hope you are equally well. I have some excellent photos to share with you. I have one in particular that I cannot wait to post for Anna! Unfortunately, I can't post here at the hostel. I will have to wait until home.

Oh! As to yesterday's cliche, I actually believe it is true. I mean, there are definitely nuances that arrive when people have problems and so can't offer what they would want to offer, but in general it is true. If I'd just stuck to the plain and simple rule that if a man really cares about you he will show it in spades, GAHHHHHH I would have wasted so much less time. I really felt for the poor girl sitting at the next table yesterday. I could see that she has a good six months left of grieving what is probably an incredibly stupid boy. She was good-looking and seemed a nice person. It seemed such a shame that she would waste time on a dork who, from what her friend was saying, wasn't trustworthy, was writing notes to many different girls, wasn't calling. AHHHH....makes me want to cry for all of womankind and our stupid hormones that make us so. damn. attached. to losers.

Oh well. And I shall go home a single lass. And so be it. I am excited about the future that I will create.

XOXOXOX

8:07 a.m. - 2010-05-18

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