enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Uffizio and panic

Gotta run to the Uffizi, but because no vacation would be incomplete without an insecurity complex, here's one!

Andrea and I had a long date last night. I was a bit tired, so I wasn't very lively. He said something about how it would be nice if I lived here and lived closer, because I could be a good friend to have. He said this muddled with something related to "not only man - woman" so I'm sure he meant it well, but I started to wonder if I am capable of sustaining someone's interest in me as a date/girlfriend. I think I'm boring/too serious, and sometimes, because I'm not used to being around people all the time, I am way too passive and really have nothing to say.

I suppose I should try to spend more time around people/practise. But really, I think I'm rather boring. I suppose I need to work on that. How does one become less boring?

Anyhow. So last night we went out and had the best pizza I've ever had (there really IS nothing as good as Neopolitan pizza. We also went out to the country, but the truth was that I had seen it before with Marco and on a bike, so perhaps I was less excited than I ought to have been.

Andrea said he had something to do tonight but I will see him tomorrow to go to a monastery. He has gone out of his way to show me around.

But that's all I shall write for now. I should have known that this whole dating a wonderful guy thing would be a terrible thing for me, because now I feel both insecure AND lonely at the thought of being all alone again. Terrible! Need to stay detached.

OK. I am off to the Uffizi. Today and tomorrow are going to be art art art. I think that Friday I will probably go to Rome. I had planned Thursday but Andrea suggested 3:30 for the monastery.

OK. Gotta run.

8:30 a.m. - 2010-05-19

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