enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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It's the first day in my new plan of attack on life. I'll do this!

Good morning!

It's as bleak and dark as evening here. Immediately I had to put on my sun lamp this morning, even though it's 8 a.m. We're having a rain day as the temperature has risen above zero, so the canal's surface will be temporarily ruined as well.

I've taken a personal day for this coming Friday. Did I tell you? I get one of those per year and I never take it. This year, I decided to take it. I need to keep myself revved up and relaxed over the winter. It's easy to slide back into anxiety, I'm realizing, at this time of year.

So lying in bed last night, for the first time in a while, I was feeling noticeably lonely. Or rather, I was feeling lonely for a person in my space. I rarely feel that. Fortunately, it wasn't an overwhelming feeling and I know what to do: continue with the plans I've made. Also, of course, Florence shines like a beacon for me. I'll be there in either April or May at the latest. (Likewise England and Paris!) And I'll probably see lovely Andrea at that time and will feel like a cherished lady for a few days at least.

So for the time being I'm going to shut up and just get on with things. I have no reason to complain about ANYTHING.

Tonight I'm meeting one of the writers for a coffee. I am not expecting anything as if I've learned one thing about online dating it's this: that when you meet someone they're never what you expect. You can't rush this kind of thing along. I also suspect a fair bit of luck is required. I mean, I know my probabilities. You draw one on the first draw, or maybe you draw one on the 1856th draw. Well, it doesn't exactly work that way, but close enough. Who knows. Good lord, I wonder if I'll make it that far? ;) If I do that I'll have met all of the single men in Ottawa! Lucky me! ;)

Be well and have a great day!
XO

8:00 a.m. - 2010-01-25

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