enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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There are places I remember...

Wow! Today is absolutely wickedly beautiful and delicious - very cold but brightly sunny and the snow is sparkling. I think I'm going to go to yoga.

I feel great today. Not because all of the anxiety has receded - it hasn't, and I'm going to have to face it at work again on Monday, as we heat up in our busiest season - but I think I understand why it happened/happens. And I feel quite compassionate towards myself. The thing is that if I can just relax and trust myself, I have proven that I can be exactly as brilliant as I need to be, and as good or better than anyone else in most relevant circumstances. So it's time for trust and confidence!!!

I would write more about this, but I think I'm going to sneak out to yoga. I think it all relates back to my Ph.D. and my abusive supervisor - the point in my life at which my confidence reached an all-time low - and the conference I think got me back to at least remembering that place and questioning myself, temporarily anyhow.

Best run. I'm going to try to get a spot on the floor in yoga.

XO

9:57 a.m. - 2010-01-09

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