enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Back with a wing and a rant. And hungry.

I'm back!

Tonight was less successful than Monday night.

The poetry was actually pretty good. I realized though that poets and I don't quite mix. Last year I noted that they all had too much facial hair and poor dress sense. This remains true! :)

Tonight I add a new complaint. The ones present tonight at least were nodding and loudly approving of some pretty ill-informed political opinions. They also seemed to lack even a basic understanding of economics. It's difficult to take people seriously when they are spouting all sorts of "views" founded only in emotion. Who is going to pay for these marvels of generosity, and how are we going to tell these other people that we are NOT going to pay for their stuff? Come and do my job for a while, think about the distortions (deadweight losses to society) that occur by doing things this way or that. Are there poets out there who have a slightly more balanced view of the world? I want to know. Oh, and also, if you could find me a poet who doesn't have hair like a girl's and who isn't (hypocritically) living off the fat of his baby boomer parents' wealth whilst also ranting, I want to see him.

(Finally, dudes and dudettes, G3orge Bush IS out of the White Hous3. And no, that goldfinch is NOT God. :) OK - I'll give you that the goldfinch has about as good a shot as anything of being God.)

So as if that were not enough of a rant, I'll tell you that the urban forum was worse. (The poetry was, in fact, quite enjoyable.) There was one guy at the urban forum who was great. The moderator, however, was useless, and the other guy could not talk his way out of a wet paper bag. After about the 50,000th time that he talked meanderingly about "urbanisms," I wanted to stand up and ask, loudly "Have you ever heard of WINDBAGISM?" (I was missing those spectacular women of the other night who showed how it ought to be done. Also, Jane Jacobs already said this FOUR decades ago (and in fewer words. :))) And then...as if all of that had not been too much already for little Miss Prissypants...some guy who I think must have been stoned got up and asked what amounted to about a five minute, nonsensical "question" (and then left the room).

But that's OK. I must give people credit for writing books and getting up on stage. Getting up on stage is more than I am doing. (Although, dude, four migrant workers does not a sample make.) At the same time, I would be very happy if some of these people would 1) learn something about statistics; and 2) learn something about scarcity. Beyond that, we're all cool.

I was thinking about one of my core difficulties and shortcomings, actually, as I was sitting there. The thought came to me as I was looking up at the ceiling of the basement of this arts centre that is now living in a giant, deconsecrated cathedral. I was looking up at a series of exposed pipes running down from ceiling radiators and other such interesting things. They've stripped away the inner shell of the basement to reveal the old stone of the foundation. It's rather pretty.

But here's the thing: I was looking at the pipes and marveling at how people figure out where and how to put them so that they do what we need. I mean, I used to do this as a kid. I would look at every building and think, "I couldn't build that!"

I had a similar thought today when someone came and asked me to do something I had never done before. I expected myself to be able to do exactly what this other dude with 40 years of experience had done (and felt roundly annoyed that I was not up to it).

So here's my epiphany: I'm too much of a generalist. I've realized that I always look at the world and marvel at how something was done, fear I couldn't do it, and then move on to the next thing. I mean, I move on to the next thing because I find so many things very interesting. (And because I don't want to end up like some of those poets seem to be - only belonging within a particular set of ranting people who don't even attempt to understand the engines they rant against.) But...and here's the big but: One definitely must throw a large proportion of one's energy into one thing at some point, else the only product of one's life is to skip from thing to thing.

But then maybe my role in life is to be a generalist. Maybe I'm meant to be a good cocktail party conversationalist. :) Or maybe I'm meant to apply a kind of general "sense" to producing reasonable outcomes for the populace in what I do.

Anyhow. I do not need to solve this problem tonight. I am glad that I had an opportunity to rant. I am demanding like that.

Do forgive me. :)

Ah what the hell - it is my space.

Did I mention that Ursul@ K. L3Guin will be here on Saturday night?

Well, not here in my apartment; here at the festival. Kind of cool, no?

PS I'm never going to date again, am I? I have passed into the realm of uber spinster of the most cranktastic variety, have I not? (Do bear in mind that Aunt Flo is currently visiting and redecorating my apartment.)

11:17 p.m. - 2009-04-29

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