enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Writing my own prescription

Super, super tired.

I haven't slept well all week. I've been thinking too much, and also was a bit anxious early on.

I think I'm in good shape now, although the events of last week still seem surreal.

I suppose I could break with standard practise and open up my gift from M. early. It would be nice to have it to look at and cherish. What a sweet man! Can you understand why I don't want to let him go?

It amazes me that I am unable to make decisions. I mean, there is such a contrast between what I do at work and what I do in my personal life. It's weird. It must be that work zaps all of that energy out of me.

I STILL can't decide on Venice. I wish that reservations were not required! I mean, I prefer the idea of going to Florence and feeling how things go...I might meet some nice people and not want to leave after New Year's. You just never know.

I shouldn't babble on further tonight. I've been sitting like a lump in my favourite chair for the last hour, staring into space. I'm simply too tired to do something productive. Fortunately lunch is already prepared and packed up for tomorrow.

Gosh this is boring. Yeah. I suppose that there is nothing to tell. I really must start working on what I'm going to do next. I was reading Anna's post of earlier tonight and I realized that I don't have PRECISELY the thing that I would do in mind. It's not yet clear for me. And I also don't have a favourite place, believe it or not. Florence would come close, but I'm not sure that I could live there all of the time. Well, I mean, I *know* that I could live there all of the time. What I mean to say is that there might be a place out there that I would like even better for *living* rather than visiting. You know what I mean.

I should sleep. It's a sleep deficit that is making me feel not 100%. I haven't slept a single full night this week. The time always runs out and then work beckons!! It's such a foolish thing that I do to myself for I firmly believe that sleep is the single best thing that one can offer to the body.

10:52 p.m. - 2008-12-17

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