enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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QUITE the day. Why are Italian men so very hottttt?

Oh ladies,

First, I think you know that I am completely crazy.

Yes, really.

I really do in my head feel ugly. In my heart I know that I am at least average looking, a girl next door, so this is stupid. But I cannot convince myself of anything else. I feel badly about myself all the time. I need a new head.

So here is the thing. This totally contradicts what I just said. I just made out with a gorgeous Italian.

I KNOW!

Crazy.

Joan and I had met him a couple of days ago, and she thought that he liked me. I thought that he was just being Italian. And he probably was. But really, who cares? He is beautiful.

So we actually saw him again today. He works right by the museum. He asked me to meet him for a drink or a coffee. I said no. I was completely shy and stupid and thought, "What the hell would I do with this guy?"

But Joan was all chatty with him and asked him what he was doing right now, and would he like to have a coffee with me. She then proceeded to tell him that I am a good girl.

And then off she trotted.

So he and I went for a stroll. It was actually pretty funny and nice, although I was completely self-conscious to be with such a cute guy. It was strange. But we went for a walk to this completely beautiful area and he started kissing my neck. I have to admit that in the split second I just thought, "What the hell!"

It was kind of fun. Nothing serious. Just a silly flirtation. He asked me if we could see each other again. He said he's not just after sex. Sure!

I'm not going to see him again. It was a fun walk in the Italian sunshine. I feel a bit dirty or, I dunno, maybe cold or something. I think it's an age thing. I just don't really expect much from men or care much if I see them again. Well, except for Marco. I do feel very sad that I haven't heard from him in the last couple of days, even though I know how stressed out and tired he is. I'll admit that I thought he would call by now. At the same time I had told him that I was really busy and that I would be going to Siena. Not sure. Really, not sure what the message was that he got.

I know I said I didn't want to see him again, but I think I'd like to see him again before I leave. He is special to me in a funny way.

SO GOOD GRIEF CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT I WENT OUT KISSING SOME ITALIAN GUY ALONG THE ARNO?

Life is weird.

Pictures will come along when I get home.

:) I took some super cute pics of him with Joan before we left on our walk.

So crazy.

Today was a great day, although I'm still feeling tired and achey. We went to the Uff!zi. If you have never been to the Uff!zi I am telling you that you really must. It was SO terrific. It's so atmospheric, so beautiful.

I am supposed to be over at the BI for a talk tonight, but frankly I am SO tired. I am not sure what I am going to do! I do need to figure out what I'm going to do about my ticket. I think that I will probably not stay longer. It seems like too much hassle and too risky in the end. I always hate this feeling of getting ready to leave Italy. I just love it so much. I wish I were free and timetable-less.

But I'll be back in spring, and hopefully for longer. I think I'm going to rent an apartment for a month, even if I can only take three weeks in April/May. This gives me something to save for and look towards. And I won't get ill next year!

I'm giong to try to make the most of the last four days here. I do hope that M. will at least call me. I think he had the expectation from what I said that I would likely come to ride with him on Saturday. I hope that he has a plan like that. If not, oh well. It really seems very odd though, given how interested he was in what I would be doing. I really did get the sense that he wanted to see me again.

OK. That is it. I CAN'T wait to hear what you think of THIS one!

Incidentally, friends, I hacen't mailed your cards yet. I will make sure that I get out to the post office tomorrow. I am sorry that I have not done this. It is mostly a function of not feeling very energetic. I will make it up to you.

OK. I'm going to lie down, so that I can feel better for tomorrow. I think that Joan and I are going to La Traviata tomorrow, and maybe M. will join if he actually bothers to call me. Or maybe not.

Hope you are all well and happy!

5:59 p.m. - 2008-09-24

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