enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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I really do completely underrate the value of my health

As always, I have to tell you all how wonderful you are. I know that I need help BIG time on the feeling beautiful thing. I have always struggled so much with this, even though it is so easy for me to see the beauty in other people.

Anyhow. I am working on it.

And I must say that having a kiss with a SUPER HOT, soft leather jacket-wearing, beautiful-skinned, fresh-smelling Italian DUDE buoyed up my confidence and enthusiasm immensely.

So...sustain this!

Really, I am starting to think about calling the airline today and delaying my return. I have been so ILL here. Yesterday after I got home my joints were aching and I was feeling HORRIBLE. I literally got into bed at 6 and slept until 7 this morning. I skipped dinner. I did nothing. The fever is now gone and the sleep did me good, but now I have the WORST stomach ache. I am hoping that it is just residue of maybe not eating/empty stomach and the after-effects of the cold, but I am starting to panic that I am going to end up with appendicitis or something! EEK! Knock on wood no!

So if I have been remiss in responding to anyone, please forgive me.

I really do need another week here to just ENJOY and relax, don't I? What a disaster.

Still, I think I have done well so far in terms of enjoying many things and getting out and pushing myself. Joan has really helped, as she has taken me into rooftop cafes and other places to which I would NEVER have gone myself. I have seen a totally different set of things than I did when I was here by myself the last time, so I am thrilled. And hanging out with Joan has been such a pleasure. I can't wait to show you all photos. We've just clicked in an interesting way, and we have the same travel style and so that is good.

Her pushing me to go out with that guy yesterday was really good, too. I mean, in the end it turned into nothing more productive than a bit of fondling :), but really I NEED to be pushed out of my comfort zone. When he asked me to go out (and also to meet him after work - offer still stands), my instinct was to say no. I'm just so shy in these situations. Except with M.

As for M., I sent him a simple note before I went to bed last night to tell him that I was sad that I hadn't heard from him about La Traviata. I got a lovely note back this morning saying that he had tried to call me the last two days but my phone had been off. I thought that one could leave messages, but maybe not. I don't know. He sounded sincere. He has to work tonight and can't come to La Traviata after all, but wants me to come cycling tomrorow. I sort of regret skipping my last day of class (a walking tour of Dante's Florence), but I really, really would like to be out in Chianti again. The tour is the one that I did with M. the last time that I was here, inclusive of a picnic on the top of a hill, so I would really love to do that. The weather has turned nice and of course I would love to see M. again one more time. That also leaves teh weekend for me to do other things, unless of course I also manage to finagle a longer stay.

OK. Well I should make the most of my day! Wish me well in not having my stomach explode or something!

9:39 a.m. - 2008-09-25

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