enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Maybe I'm just lazy....

About to run off to work.

You guys are so kind. I'm such a boring twit - no need to read my nonsense!

I think that these ideas are good. I will definitely try the artists group when I get my act together, and I was thinking that maybe I should try to get a book club together or something. Perhaps I can do that.

Patience is the key!

So I'm going to work. I feel quite hot, i.e. probably my body is still trying to burn out whatever I have, so maybe I'll be back later. Not sure. I just don't feel ill enough to stay home.

OK. I'll go off to work. I wish it weren't such a constant duel with myself to feel positive about work. When I think about the alternatives I have it pretty great: challenging job at which I get to think, don't have to work overly long hours, and which is a 7 minute walk from my house. It's not particularly well-paid, but it will get better after I move up a level or two. Once I move up two levels I'll be pretty happy with my salary. And I'm supposedly going to get my promotion up at least one at SOME POINT soon. It has already been promised to me.

Why can't I feel happy about this? ARGH. It's annoying not to be able to just TURN OFF THE THINKING. I keep on thinking about what it would feel like to get up in the morning and WANT to go to work. I definitely don't have that kind of job. :( But maybe I just don't like working??

Best run. I have this plan to get to work earlier these days. It's kind of depressing and unnecessary but I want to impress.

Have a WONDERFUL DAY! Will read later.

Really, I should take a page from Fifi's book - always breezy and much less detailed than am I. (These are good things, Fifi!!!)

8:51 a.m. - 2008-07-24

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