enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Surrender

You know, the funniest thing ever is that if you go inside, listen to your own instincts, your own heart, you of course know exactly what you want to do. You know exactly what you *will* do.

This summer, for sure, I will not date anyone. I know myself too well. I will go and see M. in September, have a "final fling" if you will, see how that feels (that is if he is available). (Whatever I started in myself at that time is not yet finished. So I need to finish that for myself in September.)

Yeah, I am guessing that most people would see this as ill-advised.

Isn't life funny? We can look at other people and their decisions and thoughts and say "stupid, stupid, stupid!"

And yet we can't quite see or admit the same when it is ourselves we are looking at. Or perhaps we just look away.

Yes, as usual, I make choices that are probably completely impractical but that I can't help making. For whatever reason, I can't help but make them.

It is going to be difficult to sit on my fingers today and not buy the plane ticket. I will talk to boss man tomorrow morning and confirm the dates and then I will buy. I think. Hmmm...I really want to buy the ticket, commit to it this afternoon.

Say what you will. :)

OK. I think I'm going to buy some butter and make a flourless chocolate torte. Mmmmm....

2:08 p.m. - 2008-06-01

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