enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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complaining and not sleeping. Not good!

Oh lordy. It's very late.

I don't know quite what I want to say. I passed an annoying evening. I've recently been roped by a friend into tutoring another friend who just performed very poorly on the math portion of the GM@T on Thursday. I have never written the G__, but given my math background I was roped in. So I just spent four hours preparing myself with various sample problems.

What a silly test. I mean, ensuring that people have an understanding of logic makes sense, but some of the stuff is totally ridiculous - stuff in number theory and trigonometry. How ridiculous! And how pedantic. I'll have to ask my friend how many questions actually appear on the test.

I'm quite a stupid person, really. I get roped into spending my time doing things like this for people. I just realized tonight, for example, that since I agreed to this and her test is on April 29th, I'll have to delay the vacation to either Paris or Rome that I was thinking this week that I would spontaneously take in a couple of weeks. I even cleared taking the time off with my boss. So, it would seem that I might actually be taking a vacation and staying in the big O. How's that for silly?

I suppose I could take a week off to stay at home and relax in April, go on the bike trip to Maine at the end of May, head to Vancouver in the first week of June for the Canadian Econom~cs Assoc. meetings, and then aim for a proper vacation to Italy in September or October.

Sigh. Nothing ever works out as it should. I suppose yet another alternative would be the first week or two of May. I really do need to get away, to sit on a hill with my sketchpad.

In other news from this brainless wench, I must tell you that I am massively pathetic at flirting. The problem is...that I don't do it.

After the class the cute teacher even addressed me directly in front of everyone and asked me for my name. Everyone was mingling and leaving and I had a perfectly good opportunity to go up to him and start chatting about stuff. Instead, I pulled the shy girl thing and packed up by the front desk (he was watching me, still, I noticed), chatted a bit to a couple of people as they were leaving, and put on my shoes and run away. Unfortunately, too, I think he caught a bit of the conversation that I had with one of the girls, about how I was going to run by C's place for a bit of breakfast as I always do after these workouts. (C's place is on the way home.) "...he'll have the coffee ready!"

The problem is simply that I have too much pride. I never want to be seen as the girl who is fishing. I wasn't even really conscious of this as I was doing it, but once I got to C's place I was definitely thinking only one thing: Doh!

I'll never date again!

Well that's it for my moaning. My stomach is bothering me YET again. I think I failed to mention this week that the other rotten thing that happened on Tuesday was that when I called my doctor's office to make an appointment the receptionist said that he is away on medical leave until June. Worrying. There is not currently a replacement for him, although there is supposed to be one as of April 7. Oddly, the receptionist would not let me make an advance appointment. What a pain. I'm sufficiently concerned with what has been going on that I would really like to see a proper personal doctor and not a walk-in clinic doctor.

I had a wonderful doctor when I was younger. Unfortunately he died of stomach cancer. Of course I live nowhere near where my family lived then, anyhow. Still, it reminds me that I have moved around too frequently to have the comfort of a relationship with a physician who knows one's history.

I should stop griping! And definitely stop doing GM@T problems. :)Seriously, sometimes I honestly do worry about my sanity.

I'm too nice. I don't really want to spend time tutoring someone. I should suggest that she take a course. I have so much on my plate already. :(

4:36 a.m. - 2008-03-30

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