enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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crazy passionate

Wordsmith has given me my new self-descriptor: perfervid.

It means extremely passionate.

I think it actually means misguidedly passionate, but I still kind of like that. :)

Mr. B. did indeed not show up today. As I've mentioned repeatedly, I suspect that he is married and with children anyhow.

It is delightful and pleasurable to have a crush - I haven't had one in a LONG time - and so I'm just going to enjoy that for what it is. I rarely see him, and for my last week in that office I will hope to have the occasional glance of him and will enjoy that.

I must tell you though that I messed up a bit in this regard last week. Last week on Hallowe'en we passed each other several times. The last time I could tell that he was subtly looking at me in a way that I intuitively knew meant that he was *noticing* me, but he was walking with a woman and talking to her obviously about the meeting from which they had just departed, and so I felt shy to give a signal.

But I should have given a signal! Instead I walked along, looking away, and continuing to swing my arms in a jaunty- I'm singing to myself (not really!)- sort of a way. (I do this pretty much all the time, smiling to myself, hoping that most people don't think that I'm crazy but rather enjoying my life...which I mostly am. :))That was the end of it. It was almost the last time that I saw him, with the exception of yesterday when I arrived at work and could see his head over a long row of cubicles.

Ah well. Such is life. You can't plan your movements.

And besides, it will soon be time to move on to another crush.

My apologies for the odd grammar and syntax above...My brain is meandering. I'm trying to make a decision about going or not to French class tomorrow. Because we have a holiday on Monday I only have four days of work remaining after tomorrow, to complete a HUGE stack of work. :(

Oh Oh Oh! I must tell you: I bought tickets (one for me and one for C!) to see a Pina Bausch dance production at the N@ational Arts C3ntre on the 24th. Better yet, I bought subscriber orchestra seats -though only for one :( - to the ballet, for three ballets upcoming this winter. It is SAD to see how cheap the seats are - they simply mustn't be able to put bodies in the chairs. I'm grateful though as I am certainly not wealthy at this particular stage in my career, given that I chose not to take my promotion at my current department but rather to take a lateral to my new one. Fortunately my new department should be able to promote me by the end of the fiscal year (April), I am told. Sigh. So exciting. One day at a time I am moving forward.

7:22 p.m. - 2007-11-08

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