enfinblue's diary

enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

quick note pre- nightcap

I'm too tired to write a proper entry tonight, so I will leave that until tomorrow.

Nothing much happened today. I had French class this morning, and I told B. at the close of business that I am going to leave. He took it well - at least on the surface - but then he left the office and I know him well enough to know that he was emotionally affected. I didn't want to put him in a difficult position but I know that he understood why I am doing it. And he supports me. He just didn't want to have to do it.

I'm not responsible for others, however. And, frankly - and I felt like reminding him of this with respect to his own position - it's just work. Work is important but it is not LIFE.

I don't know why I have so much clarity these days, but I do. I think it's because I'm so grateful that I have come out of the relative "woods" that I was in for such a long time.

That's about it. I spoke my peace about culotte last night. I'm greatly tempted to write her a note to tell her directly what I wrote in my entry last night, but I don't want to risk destabilizing her. It's not my place to point out what I think she is is doing wrong, anyhow...but I am tempted to do so. I just want so badly for her to get through this and start on a new, more healthy course of being.

Ah I'm tired. I think a nice little drink is in order.

Oh and I revised my online profile and I have received NO responses! I think that I must be perceived as too demanding or intense. Not sure. Methinks I need to rewrite again. I need to learn some proper guy psychology. The big problem is that when I soften the profile appreciably I get heaps of totally inappropriate approaches. Hmm...Tricky.