enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Hungry...and I do mean that to be a double entendre

So have I ever mentioned my friend B.? Probably in passing only...since I'm usually too lazy to flesh things out. (Hence the complete failure of this diary to stimulate personal change.)

B.'s the one who lost his wife rapidly to cancer a couple of years ago and who is currently raising two great kids. I was hanging out with B. a bit after class tonight and after only a brief conversation I felt my spirits rise. I can't quite decide if it is all him or if it is partly that it is nice to have mature company (he's in his middle forties and really seems to have his stuff together).

I like hanging around and chatting with B., because he is always intelligent, always kind, and always ready to laugh. It's really too bad that I am not attracted to him otherwise. Of course the whole parade would never get started because of major differences between us:
1)I lean left politically and he leans right;
2) He has religion and I do not...and pretty much nothing upsets me more in my daily life than listening to people "prove" that being gay is a choice and an abomination.

Anyhow. I suppose there are other obstacles to me dating B., e.g., that he's not yet ready to date and that he has two children :). I'm getting an inkling though that when I do date next I'll be leaning in the direction of mature. Who needs hair, anyway? --just give me a little bit of love and respect for others and I'll be reasonably satisfied. Sure, the 28-year-old hottie who keeps on asking me over might be nice for a night or two; but I happen to know for a fact that his apartment is a pigsty (wasn't there an SATC episode about that sort of thing?). I also know for a fact that if I were to have a fling here I'd want him out before morning. I know this because I could never much tolerate sleepovers in my twenties and I am infinitely more crotchety in my mid-thirties.

Sincerely though, I do love kids but I am also uncertain that I could deal with the issues involved in forming a blended family. Things worked out quite well with my step-father as we all love him; I'd hate to know, however, if he'd do it all again if he knew then what he knows now about the bumps we traversed as a family.

On another topic, I desperately need a hit of fat. I live in such a lame town that I rode my bicycle home from school tonight and discovered that the pizza place near my house had closed at ten. It's the first evening all year that I have craved pizza and that small yearning cannot even be fulfilled. We are no longer in Montreal, T0to. No, oh no, we are in southwestern Ontari-ari-ari-0. (Read some Alice Munr0 and you'll get my drift. We have our own little B3rmuda Tr!angle of repression here. Alice, by the way, now resides in Victoria.)

PS I was invited to hear Stephen Harper speak in person tomorrow and regrettably I had to decline due to a full roster of commitments. I'm actually quite gutted because I would have liked to have attempted a hard hit regarding his stupid tax policies. I mean, I know the guy is pretty much as impervious as his helmet hair. But it would have been oh so fun to face him and simply, elegantly put forward some facts about tax incidence. OH how I would have loved to have said something to the effect of, "Thank you, Mr. Prime Minister. That does not answer my question but I enjoyed beating my head against a brick wall, anyhow. Have a nice day."

10:46 p.m. - 2006-05-23

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