enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Kind of a laundry list, but full of energy and joie de vivre

A really good day. I'm still a little bit anxious at the edges, but the horoscope of yesterday told the tale: I have a firm handle on who I am and what I need to do. I don't worry excessively about the anxiety. It will always be with me, to some degree or another.

So...I AM going to Atlanta. I must admit that I'm not excited about it, but I also made the decision today to make the most of it. I'll get to meet a Nob3l winner and also an important medal-winner in Economics, who is working in an area in which I'm working. I want to ask him some questions. Fortunately he is originally French, so I figure that I can masquerade my stupid questions in a very slight haze of charm, by asking my dumb questions in French. My colleagues tell me that my voice goes into a lower, smouldering register when I speak French. ;)

Today was good because I worked hard and with sustained focus. I have noticed a strong correspondence between me working hard and me feeling good. I need that knowledge that I did my best in order to sustain my pride in myself.

I also made a list of all of the things that I want to do in the next few months. I found a cool "Sicily" evening at a local restaurant and with a sommelier that I truly would like to attend. I think I may also be able to convince some friends to join me.

I decided, as well, that I will buy cross-country skiis and join an outdoors club for the winter.

My biggest goal for this winter is to basically do really good work/research that will further my career, help me to make contacts, and enhance my prospects internationally.

Related to this, I'm going to continue working hard on my French. I'm going to study at least one evening a week, in addition to my all-day-Friday class.

I have another drawing class on the list, but I must admit that my experience here so far has been so-so. I liked my drawing teacher, but I found the environment and the people in the class to be drab. As a result, my enjoyment was less than if I had simply remained at home and drawn on my own. I'm thinking that it might be best to pursue this strategy this winter, until I can get into a proper studio. There IS an art school downtown that has evening classes and looks to be a bit more of a big deal, but the classes are 3 hours (long, after a long day in my job, especially as the national fudge-it and lots of overtime approach). They are also expensive. I think that maybe this is not a good idea.

The other thing, apart from skiing, of course, is the running. I am feeling really, really great about my potential to run well this year. I'm also feeling eager to race a little bit again. So I'm going to train at a reasonable but serious level over the winter. I will run at least one marathon in 2010.

I have also decided to start going out by myself to art and music events. There are some cool cafes/art bars that are a bit far for me to get to, but why not? It's worth it. I also have absolutely no problem going anywhere by myself, so I'm not shy. At the same time, I found out that my new English friend who is very smart and very cool is in fact not going with VS0 to India next month. She felt that at 40 it was time to accept an offer for quite a good job that recently came her way. I'm sorry for her for missing out on India, but I am glad that she'll be around. She is also single and I'm sure could be pursuaded to join me in the cafes.

Cool, no?

The most important realization that I had, however, is that I want to...learn Italian.

It kept on rising to the top of the list. I love the language so much that I find I understand it much better than I ought to given the training that I have done to this point. I'm going to make it a serious project to study it this year. I think I will start with books and tapes over the winter, and then I'll go to Florence for two weeks in May or June or somethign like that and do two weeks of the Italian intensive course at the BI. It's a small start, but it will get me on the road to meeting my longer term goals re. Italia. And of course, if eventually I can speak not just two but three languages, this will help me with my international goals. It should be reasonable to learn Spanish after that.

All cool. I feel incredibly invigorated.

Also, a friend - a nice friend, a little bird - has been telling me lately (it's a guy), that there's a game afoot in the world and it wouldn't hurt to sex up my look a little bit. I'll never take THAT very far, but I bought a bit of makeup today. I think that my makeup kit consisting only of a tube of mascara was perhaps a little bit out of date. An eyeliner, some soft lipstick and a blusher can't be too much.

Yes! Fired up. This weekend I will paint the paintings for my parents for Christmas. Next week I will be working at the food bank quite a bit in the evenings and so I won't have time to prepare for Christmas. I have also been drafted to help with the office Christmas party next Thursday, whcih is pretty much my worst nightmare but must be done. :)

Hope you had as lovely a day as mine.
XO

8:48 p.m. - 2009-12-10

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