enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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And this is me.

Thanks for your comments, guys! They were very interesting. I was sort of rambling this morning, having not slept well, and I didn't expect anyone to reply.

I'm pretty sure that I'm wired a bit differently, since everyone from my mother to my friends to my colleagues to random people in classes that I've taken (e.g., the cycling course last year) find me to be anxious (even when I don't feel at all anxious by my own metric).

Well, no one has called me anxious lately.

Also, and this is the weird part, I'm known for being extremely easygoing, in the sense of being extremely adaptable to other people's desires. In other words, I usually play nicely with others.

But still, they tick me off. Very comforting to know that others of you get agitated when people do not behave in a yoga-ish manner, or when people park in an inconsiderate way. This evening, I was going into the post office to pick up a package, and even after I waited to hold the door for a girl who was coming along she did not say a simple thank you. I'm always amazed. I would feel like a piece of shit if I didn't say thank you after someone did something nice for me. I thought about it in the moment though and since I wasn't particularly agitated in that moment I didn't mutter "Thank you!" under my breath. And besides, on the way out some guy for whom I held the door offered me a hearty thank you. I often feel like hugging these people.

So I worked late today and we had a meeting that went past 7, but after work I went the post office (as aforementioned), to pick up two long-delayed packages with a few items that I had ordered for my work wardrobe. I think I mentioned a while back that I don't have any pants that fit me. Well, that is not exactly true at the moment. I have slimmed down a bit recently - no idea how - and so my black trousers fit. I bought a nice pair of black flannel trousers that are a bit bigger and so at least when I inevitably put on a pound or two in the winter I will still have something to wear. I also bought a pretty, pale pink wool skirt that is a little bit big and could be taken in, but I'm thinking that with winter tights and all it will be comfortable. Oh and a white tuxedo shirt was in the order and a pair of grey herringbone tights.

I'm pretty proud of myself because although I could use an awful lot of work clothes - I still do not have a suit and THAT will need to be rectified at some point - I have been very practical and careful and have bought just a few sensible items. Unfortunately there is still the issue of locally made, but there is virtually no textile industry remaining in Canada.

That was a pointless ramble. Do forgive.

So I must tell you the one interesting thing that happened today! Do you remember that I mentioned a guy who seems to show up at my favourite coffee shop at about 10 a.m. and who stares at me? Well, I was standing next to him in line today and I was thinking that I knew him or something, and then I realized that he was just the *guy* and that I hadn't seen him for a while. You're going to think me foolish, but there's something about him that I find to be very sweet (could it be that he stares adoringly at me? :)). He seems to be nervous or something standing next to me. And he's kind of cute and seems to be age-appropriate (I'd guess late 30s.) So...perhaps I shall turn around next time and flash him a dazzling smile. ;-)

Not full of myself AT ALL.

I forgot to mention that I had a hilarious convo with someone in the elevator today. I am always SOOO obvlivious. I was thinking of something and completely in my head, and there was an annoucement over the PA, and some guy said, "F-!" and I snapped to and said something such as "What?" He turned to me and said, "It's a fire alarm! We're in the elevator! Did you think I just drop the F-bomb for nothing?" Well exccccuuuuuuuuuse me. The people I work with...:)

I should work on the cardi that is nearly an actual cardi. Oh and eat something.

A big XO to all of you skittish rule-obeyers out there!

9:39 p.m. - 2009-10-07

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