enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Raspberries and ice cream

A great evening.

Went over to C.'s and we had a big argument over econometrics.

I mean, this was great. It served the dual purpose of making C. happy (he loves arguing/debating); and eliminating any Sunday work stress (takes away the building up to doing it again).

I feel hopeful for this week. Although it doesn't sound like it here, at the root I'm quite happy these days. About 90% of the time. I still have work to do on growing my confidence, but that work is in progress. Rome wasn't built in a day. I have lots of love and support, thankfully. There's someone you don't know about, and for that person I send out a special thanks.

Yeah, so life is pretty good.

Thankfully, and interestingly, I didn't think about the FA job all weekend. After a build-up of 20 years and a few difficult hours, it seems I've unloaded myself of that burden. And I really didn't hate myself - just a reflex. And a stupid one at that. I was angry at the anxiety that I was feeling. I'm UNUSUALLY self-critical. I mean, most people - and I'm serious about this - would never ever say the things that I say. It's who I am. But it's changing, slowly but surely.

Off to knit a bit and then off to dreamland. I want to say that it's a bit cooler in here...but that's maybe only true at the margin.

11:07 p.m. - 2009-08-16

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