enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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It's a long way down.

I fear that this is going to plunge me into depression.

I chose fear instead of opportunity.

Now what sort of a life do I expect to have?

I don't feel any of the relief that I expected to feel, only the sting of disappointment in myself.

I just didn't want to be doing it to fulfill someone's expectations, to live in a pipe dream of getting to Europe that way and being with Marco, say, or any other stupid reason.

I really hope that Anna is right and "plan B" will arrive soon. I need a plan B that feels right for me.

10:02 a.m. - 2009-08-14

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