enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Fighting through.

I just wrote about feeling a little bit depressed (I do), and about worrying about my job again.

But since I always do that, I'm going to forgive myself for not being at my best this week. I'm going to go for a wee run instead.

Things will be OK.

Incidentally, now that the clouds are clearing or whatever, it's not at all about Marco. I've pretty much brushed that off. It's about all of the other inner stuff. I even thought momentarily about writing to him to tell him, "Hey, wait a minute, I was too nice to you!" But then I just didn't care enough to do it. Funny how the truth will eventually come to you.

Oh well! Progress has been made. I understand some things much better and feel quite hopeful about it all. Patience!

I did work hard today, but I simply didn't produce enough. Not feeling good about that. But I'll forgive myself. It's only work, after all. And I have a fucked up brain that is only partly my own fault! I do love my brain, though. It has given me many wonderful things. A blessing and a curse all at once!

OK. HOpe you are well.

XO

7:52 p.m. - 2009-06-10

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