enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Peace found in Ottawa, of all places!

Well, Fifi, no woodpeckers today!

I did see some woodpecker shavings on the ground whilst snowshoeing, but no woodpeckers.

When very silent I could hear owls. It was lovely. I didn't go too hard - not a problem as the trails were packed and snowshoes not REALLY necessary - so nothing bad happened with respect to my arm or my cast, even though the trail was straight uphill in one direction!! (And downhill in the other...WHEEEE!!!)

What a beautiful day!

I told C. that he simply MUST buy a car so that we can do this more often. I offered to buy the canoe. I do NOT want to buy a car - too expensive for my level of use. He thanked me for my fair exchange! :)

One thing that I discovered in making a bunch of further videos is that I sound like an idiot on them. In real life I do listen to people quite patiently, but in these videos I talk too much and sound like an idiot. It makes me more conscious of the fact that I need to always listen and talk later. A nice reminder.

So likely I won't be posting any of those videos - much to your approval, I am sure. :)

I also had a great breakthrough with M. this weekend. I confronted him about ANOTHER invitation from him (told him NOT to do that and that if he wants to make a real, firm invitation to call me and do so). So he did! And we actually had a frank discussion. It was refreshing. I'll be interested to see if he follows up on this latest invitation (to cycle together in Spain if he doesn't have business in May), but I'm definitely not waiting for it. I'm on the friend page with him now, whatever he says to me. I think we both understand that if things were different we'd try to date; since they're not...they're not. I'm more amused by him at this point than anything else.

In truth, what I'm thinking about now is (well, apart from freeing my arm) what on earth kind of guy would be right for me? I'm quite flakey and imaginative, so on the one hand I wonder if I really SHOULD be with someone very stable and practical and logical. I mean, sort of like an (UGH) economist or engineer or something. On the other hand, I'm so attracted to M. precisely because he is passionate and artistic and idealistic. In that situation I'M the sensible, stable one, if you can believe it. He tells me that I make him feel secure and optimistic. GOD.

Anyhow. How DOES one figure these things out?

The one thing that I'm starting to doubt though is that there is a guy out there who is both sufficiently challenging (which probably means clever and curious, in most cases) AND sufficiently reliable for me.

Ah well, time will tell.

In any event, things are good. I'm going to pick up a book.

7:25 p.m. - 2009-02-08

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