enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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There's always another problem, isn't there. Water off a duck's back. Water off a duck's back...

Today was a bad day, but I was a bit of a badass about it (listen to me, and I didn't even get out of work until nearly 8 p.m.; who's the badass?).

Anyhow. I won't bore you with the travails of my travail.

Something quite revealing happened today, which is that someone pointed out to me that they haven't processed my promotion because they are trying to keep me from leaving immediately...DOH!

I am not sure why, as it is clear that I don't fit into that culture at all. I mean, I never have.

I always forget the stupid evilness of these bureacracies. As soon as I get the promotion I can very easily slide laterally to any other department. I mean, tomorrow. Until I get it, I would have to compete elsewhere, and that would be 1) stupid; 2) long, long, long.

I'm an idiot. And they're bastards.

But we knew that already.

I really have to stop talking about this crap. It's ugly and makes me feel even worse.

To make matters worse, I got an email from Marco today. It was a real Welcome to Florence email. Honestly, he is insane. He wrote that he felt sorry for not calling me over Christmas because I was "coming a long way and I am special to him."

Well, you could have fooled me.

Anyhow. Enough with him. I have no time for that bollocks.

I know that things are going to work out and I'm going to meet someone totally nutty and fruity and awesome all at once, just like me. It just might take a while.

Do you know what this week has done to me? I bought two giant chicken breasts on Sunday night and I forgot all about them so I went to the grocery store on the way home and bought a whole chicken. And then I got home and opened the fridge and realized that... I have enough poultry to feed a poor family. :(

I'm feeling really dark and angry at the world today, if truth be told. K. and I at work today dreamed of her becoming a nutritionist and me becoming a massage therapist and us starting a clinic together. Could you imagine? (Those poor clients - we'd talk their heads off.)

(I don't talk all of the time, but I do when I'm with her. She sort of rubs off on me.)

Hope you are well. I kind of feel like I need a good cry. Not in a bad way, but just because I'm so weary that I think it would be a bit of a release. I haven't even had a second to look at the inauguration stuff. It was yet another crazy day.

8:51 p.m. - 2009-01-20

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