enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Loneliness is a tenacious bastard

Aww you guys are great.

I had a rough night. I was SOOOO congested that I could not sleep. That is the BAD thing about a hostel. You don't want to disturb anyone so you try not to cough or blow your nose. Awful!

I feel OK at the moment, however, and I know that this cold will pass.

As for the other thing, I wrote back to him a brief note saying that that sounded OK. But to be honest I am wondering if I should write back something more honest, such as, "I get the feeling that you are not really keen on seeing me. It's OK. I don't want to impose, or have you feel obligated."

I know I couldn't have expected much. It was a nice experience a few months ago but lots of things intervene. Who knows what is going on. I just have to stop feeling attachment to ideas and feelings, since I so rarely get what I want. Probably we all rarely get what we want. I just wish I didn't feel as though clearly there is something wrong with me, as this ALWAYS seems to happen to me.

Oh well. Something to not think about. I'm going to walk around today and try not to be sick.

Oh! Any advice on whether I should just write to him to let him off the hook would be great.

Otherwise, I hope you are all well and enjoying life.

8:42 a.m. - 2008-09-18

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