enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Eat, please eat!

This entry should :) be brief.

The boss returned today. Within a few minutes I felt incompetent again. But whatever. There is no use comparing myself with the boy wonder - a boy wonder who has been doing this or related work for at least twelve years.

End of that!

So I haven't been feeling well in the last couple of days. I mean, I'm not dying. But something has definitely been off. It's probably just that virus that I was fighting in the middle of last week. It is possibly true that I biked too hard yesterday in light of this.

At any rate I woke up today with an irritated throat and a generally foggy feeling in my head. And my hair has been feeling limp, my face looking pale - sure signs that there is something up.

To top it off - and possibly completely related - I have decided that I am officially going off gluten again whilst I wait for the results of my most recent test. I'm still suspicious, for a variety of reasons.

Well, no matter. I'm just not 100% well today. No one is perfectly healthy all the time!

So on to more interesting things! On my way home I went into the magazine store, before putting in a must-do appearance at a birthday party. I literally never buy magazines, since I find them to be expensive and I hate having to dispose of them/recycle them.

But I must say that there are SOOOO many delightful magazines out there. I read through the entire art section (or rather skimmed/browsed). I skimmed a few sewing magazines and got inspired. I skimmed through a few literary magazines. I compromised and treated myself to one literary/social/cultural/political affairs mag.

I love art magazines. I sometimes feel inclined to buy them. Apart from the reasons above, one of the reasons that I don't is that there is often WAY TOO MUCH ADVERTISING in them. It makes me crazy. Does anyone else feel this way? DOes anyone have any recommendations?

I'm feeling very determined to make positive changes. I talked to the guy today about the drawing group.

I also looked on the web this evening, at century homes in the country that I could possibly buy (not this year, but maybe in a year or two). I just love the idea of living in the country and having a wee old house and a big garden. Only thing is that then I would need to buy a car. Oops. I was thinking though that maybe I could drive just a tiny bit and then bike the rest of the way in? Not sure.

Then again maybe I should just return to my idea of moving to Italy. :)

Sometimes I wonder if I'm just constantly seeking perfection, and therefore doomed never to settle on (not settle for) anything. It is worth pondering. One must choose.

When I think of myself in this way - as this non-choosing person - I think that I really must not be in the moment.

But when I think of myself in another light, I am one of the most in-the-moment people I know. Whenever I actually commit to doing something, I live in that thing, that moment. I find and meditate on beauty in so many things.

Anyhow.

This weekend C. and I have decided to go to see a tiny company, whom we watched last year, perform Rom3o and Juliet in the park. I do love S. in the park. Nice.

And on Sunday there is something, too. Oh yeah - I looked at the schedule and there is a poetry reading this Sunday evening.

Monday, the final day of the long weekend, C. has invited me to a concert. It is C.'s kind of music, but I do always enjoy being in the midst of a decent show.

I believe that that is it. I have been eating a bit of steak, hoping to fortify myself. I shall now make and consume a salad. I do things in the original bachelorette order. I think that the eating habits of bachelors and bachelorettes are probably the saddest part of singledom. At least the only takeout that I purchase is the rare pizza. :)

9:28 p.m. - 2008-07-28

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