enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Remember to Live!

So I just got off the phone with C. We�re not going to go to the W@r Memorial for the Remembr@nce Day Ceremony, even though it is only a few blocks away and I love the ceremony. It�s just not atmospheric enough today � the skies are clear and it is not raining. Last year it was cold and I got soaked. (Update: They are broadcasting it on the radio, anyhow. So I am there in spirit! Now that was one of the coolest things ever...I was standing at my skylight as the war planes were flying over the War M3morial on the radio...and they were simultaneously flying right over my house...since I live three blocks from the memorial. It was thunderous!)

That is not the reason. The reason is that I am a bit tired and a bit hung over.

I know I should not admit to drinking alone! But I did last night � two glasses of wine. I was up SOOOO late. I was enjoying the beauty of my new monitor screen � reading articles about Christoph3r Wr3n and my favourite cathedral in the whole world, reading Gu@rdian articles about such things as the worst poetry ever or at least recently published, viewing an affecting video by the Governm3nt of Canada honouring veterans (maudlin, really, but still affecting ), viewing the schedule of events to come at the N@t!onal Libr@ry and Arch!ves (one of my favourite places in the whole, wide world; why I studied to become an archivist � I have determined to go to a film showing of La Boh3me there in two weeks), knitting half of the back of a green cardigan that I am going to belt with a tiny little belt.

I could go on. Let it suffice to say that I am a crazy person who finds the middle of the night on Saturdays to be the most beautiful, lovable time of my life. And this is particularly true this weekend, as I do not need to rise early tomorrow to go to work.

When I was speaking with C. the conversation went a little bit like this:

C: Oh! Did I wake you?

E: No! I was lying in bed listening to Mich@el Enr!ght�s interview with Orh@n Pamuk. But I�m still groggy as I was a BAD E. last night. I stayed up in the middle of the night being classic E. � feeling so free and interested and creative and enjoying my solitude, and the glow of my beautiful new screen. I made oven fried potatoes at 1 a.m. and popped A Ro0m with a Vi3w into the DVD player at 3 a.m. (I never get tired of that movie. I think it might just be the only movie ever about which I can say this is true.) See, I was a BAD E. Though I knitted half of the back of my green cardigan, so I was marginally useful. But the day is now squandered!

C: You should never feel badly when you are being an E! You like being an E!

E: I know, I know. It is true. And now I am absolutely delighted by the interview with Orh@n Pamuk. I think I am going to have to run out today to buy Oth3r Colours. I just loved the way that he was so contrary with Micha3l Enright. Too few people question the questioners! I realized during the interview that ME was being entirely, annoyingly journalistic � asking open questions so open that most persons would run straight into them as an opportunity to say almost any bs that comes to mind. Most people are simply waiting for an opportunity to hear themselves speak. But OP characterized the questions as �journalistic questions� and turned some of them on their heels. I loved it! I loved it! Beautiful. Of course, there are many people in the world who if they are not alone for long stretches �writing, reflecting, whatever � feel depressed. This does not mean that these people are not at other times intensely social persons!! (How ridiculous can you be, ME? My goodness they are called introverts!)

C: Laughing.

E: Yes, I know, I need help. :)

C: Well I called to tell you that I am not going out as I am going to try to start work soon.

E: Great! I am glad. You do that, C.

C: What are you going to do?

E: Well I want to go out but there is hardly any window in which to do so. I love the Sund@y Edition and so that blocks my time until noon. And then as much as I dislike St3wart�s tripe I must listen to the Remembrance Day edition of Vinyl C@fe. And then I cannot bear to miss El3anor�s Writers and Comp@ny at 3. And at 2, intervening, I must confess that I have become greatly attached to the conversations on T@pestry, even though I object to the host sometimes.

C: That leaves one hour for going out!

E: I know. I know. And then I am also free at 4.

C: But there will be little daylight available as of 4.

E: True.

C: Take your vitamin D pills.

See? See? How am I ever going to meet a man? :) If only they delivered/were delivered like pizza!

10:57 a.m. - 2007-11-11

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