enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Being ME is so TIRING. I'm a tiresome woman.

OK. So maybe I didn't screw up so badly.

But let me first tell you what I did before I tell you how it ended.

So this morning, after x (with x being a very, very small number) of hours (minutes) of sleep, I awoke and felt completely panicked about the guy. So....I proceeded to write him an email about it. (I know, that is quintessential What Not to Do in a Burgeoning Relationship with a Man behaviour. That should be a TLC show, but I digress.)

And then I got to work and received emails from my best girl friend (C2) and my best guy friend (C) and when I told them that I felt I'd gone too far with the guy they EACH INDEPENDENTLY responded with, "Well at least you didn't send him some rambling guilty feelings email about it." (Too late for an intervention!)

Anyhow. So I don't correspond with the guy using my work email, since in general I like to keep personal contacts to a minimum on the secured network. (I have no doubt that they are randomly reading/screening emails to make sure that we don't leak confidential data.) So, I waited all day to get home and find a lovely email in my inbox from him.

Of course the true test will be if he calls me when he gets back from NYC this weekend!

I feel so much better.

And you know what I remembered finally as I sat in my office this afternoon, about the last few minutes in which he was here in the wee hours of this morning? It was that he started gently brushing his hand repeatedly over my eyelashes. It was sweet. He is sweet.

So enough about that. You're entitled to be gagging at this point.

The other good news--and I shouldn't count my contract chickens before they are hatched, but oh well--is that apparently they should be able to avoid the two-week gap between contracts that was meant to take place from the 27th. In other words, like most North Americans I will only have the 25th and 26th off and then it will be back to work. Yippee!

I'm happy, really I am.

I was utterly unproductive today though, I'll admit it--I hope that no one noticed in this pre-contract period. :-) Oddly--and probably entirely proportional to my relative happiness with the date on Sunday night over that of last night--I was INSANELY productive on Monday. I wrote a 14 page single-spaced paper on Monday. It's full of meat. I knew I'd done something pretty good, but I realize this more and more as my co-author has spent three days becoming increasingly excited about the scope of the results that I've generated and explained, as he goes through the paper and underlying programs with a fine-toothed comb. I almost want to label Monday a day of bliss-induced insanity, because even I am impressed with this paper. (Of course I've accomplished very little since...my energy was tapped out in that one day burst, it would seem)

OK. Now I need a shower and really need to eat. My bike is still held hostage by the bike racks at work (and I'm getting mixed stories from the security people about whether or not they'll cut the lock off for me or if I must call someone to do it), so I ran home.

6:30 p.m. - 2006-12-07

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