enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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insecurities

No other word for it. I'm seriously thinking of ceasing to see the guy, to avoid him losing interest in me.

I woke up today simply feeling not pretty enough. I think he can do better. Much better. I don't know why he would want to be with me. I find it difficult to believe that other attributes can really overcome shortcomings in so fundamental an area. I am an old woman with wrinkles. I feel not good.

I wish I felt differently.

I'm not asking for pity or sympathy...:-) The thoughts have been circling in my head all afternoon and I needed to write them down.

I don't know why it is so difficult for me to accept my imperfections.

Hmm. I'm going to take a walk, rent some movies, buy a nice bottle of red wine and some food to make a good dinner. That should help.

5:38 p.m. - 2006-12-09

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