enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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It's I'm now Pollyanna time...I've been instructed to be so by my benefactress.

I've already added a silly entry for today--more of a vent than anything--but the perfectionist in me wants to leave on a positive note.

A friend of mine made a whole heap of money in investments recently and she sent me a gift! (She has more money than God, so to speak, so I don't feel terrible or obliged in accepting it.) It was enclosed in a note that said only, "Smile!"

So what did I do? Buy some expensive clothing? Order the full bound series of Robert Sk!d3lsky's biography of Keynes? Order a tonne of chocolate from France or Belgium??

NOOOOO. Not I. I gave some of it away. And then I ordered enough top-quality English yarn to make a nice cardigan and hat and gloves (avoiding the markup of Canadian importers by buying directly from my carefully-researched cheap source in Cardiff, Wales :)).

Yes, I am a bit of a joke. And I still eat lentils. But the thing about not having money for long periods of time is that it trains you to sift through things and realize what will add to your comfort in a reasonable way, and what is simply not going to make you happy. And, of course, the truth is that thing piled on after thing won't make you happy.

Brilliant insight on my part, I know.

So the way it goes for me is that the more money I have the less spend, and the less I desire to spend...ever. It's all about security, baby. And I like it; I like it a whole bunch. I'm starting to understand the unfathomable, which is why middle-aged people are always wearing work clothes that are twenty years out of date.

Sure, I still do not have a secure job, which is a good argument for frugality. But today was the best day at work so far (and I don't raise this to toot my own horn but rather in surprise and amazement) because my colleague and co-author--who has been working with the unit for ten years--said that I am doing a "great job," that he "is amazed at how quickly I was able to pick up and run" with the complex longitudinal survey with which I am working, and that my "coding is impeccable." He was tickled pink that I--somewhat horrifically--found a result that I labeled the "Larry Summ3rs might be correct" result (about the top of the skill distributions in bidimensional mathematics for young boys and girls). (I was going to hide that result. :))

Just kidding. :)

That's it. I feel chipper and happy right now. Time to roll around on my physio ball in my living room (great to have a spacious if nook-y living room). Just think of me as an upside-down turtle, with my legs splayed as I try to balance on the thing. I should be running, but I just don't feel like it. Work does that to me, as does winter--I want to coccoon in my little house.

Cheerio.

7:38 p.m. - 2006-10-31

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