enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Trip. Complaining. Silliness. You know - the usual.

I had to take my photos down from the dating site. It really gets under my skin - those messages from idiots, I mean.

Tonight it was a guy who is married, has a wife who wants to engage with him in meeting the women he's trying to pick up online, and who told me that the guy out there that I'm going to find is going to like hockey and be out eating chicken wings and screaming at a tv with his friends.

Good God! I sure hope not. Don't you just love unsolicited advice from jerks??

(I had told a funny story about disliking hockey since my brother stole my Darryl S!ttler hockey card, which is sort of true.)

Good grief, men are stupid!

At any rate, I no longer have the patience.

I am sure I will *try* to change my mind and put the photos back up in a day or so, but I am not sure why. Maybe I was meant to be an old maid; maybe I should just sink in and start to truly celebrate it. Everyone knows that men do better married and women do worse. There's tons of research showing that single women are healthier, have more money, have greater connection to community, fewer problems with depression...(difficult to imagine, exactly, but I think there's also a selection issue there...). At least depression in single women by choice is not CAUSED by men.

Hallelujah!

Actually, I can't even say that, can I? Men leave trails of misery behind them.

Anyhow. I don't want to talk about men.

I booked my trip. It's all OK. I must admit though that I am the only person in the world who doesn't want to go to Paris. I booked it because C. was prodding me to be "more adventurous," when really I wanted to fly from London directly to Italy. Unfortunately, if I cancel the train tickets I lose my money, because it was rather expensive to buy a flexible ticket from there (those European rail lines are sneaky). I knew a way around it (order tickets from the UK or France arm of the rail system and have them sent to someone's house in Europe (e.g. the UK)), but I didn't have the will.

Oh well. I suppose I could throw away one portion of my ticket and buy one to leave Paris earlier.

Anyhow. It just doesn't matter. I am sure I can make myself enjoy myself in Paris for four days. Sounds stupid, I know. I'm so selfish and privileged. I booked the cutest little hotel - a little bit out of the way, but very sweet. I am sure I can have a nice time, even if by myself. Sabrina also, I know, would like to see me. I don't know what it is about France...Italy is just more me. I like that it's just a bit messed up, dirty, gritty. I like the way that Italians sashay about in tight clothes and excellent shoes, robustly tanned and throwing their hands about. To me it seems exactly as a country ought to be. Well, minus the mafia, nepotism, sexist television, random road closures and train strikes and the PM. But really it's true: you do sometimes see men in tights in piazzi, acting out some lord-knows-what past rite. I don't know if I mentioned it but there was some such event by the Duomo when I was there in October. Gorgeous men with apricot skin, rippling muscles and wearing tights and waist-length jackets in scarlett and purple or something, with puffed sleeves and gold piping! Wow! I don't know. And the French have... Sark0zy? ;)

I know, I know, they have Olivier Mart!nez. Not bad! Ah sigh...but come to think of it, when I'm speaking French, I do not feel like myself. My francophone colleague always tells me that my voice goes into a lower register and gets very serious. It just doesn't work for me. I am passion! I am not chic. (Frankly, I think I am just trying hard to not fuck up by NOt using the subjunctive whenever it is appropriate. I get the same thrill in using the subjunctive in English, come to think of it, although this occurs both more naturally and less frequently. In Italian all I worry about is not mistaking my pronunciation of penne so that it comes out like pen3 (pen!s), which I did once when eating with Andrea. ;))

In other, much more important news, lovely Anna has me very excited about visiting her in England! Yippee!! Now if I can drag that darling MFV into sight...

I am going to Montreal tomorrow for work. I don't think I mentioned that. A twelve hour day, though not that much work involvd. I am already tired.

But then it's the (dateless) weekend.
I think I'll work on my lentil recipes. I'm already feeling guilty about spending so much money on this trip. I will hostel it in Italy, but still Europe. is. so. expensive. That's why I need a rich, Italian count.

Hmm...I have heard that French men like older women. Maybe I will find a rich Frenchman. ;)

Just joking. I should go to bed. Sigh. Have a good one.

11:05 p.m. - 2010-02-25

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