enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The "big" 100.

The "big" 100.

As I mentioned yesterday, I read a suggestion that one should write the top 100 things, ALL THINGS that one would want in a partner, and hide it somewhere (and take it out when someone emerges). (I haven't really fulfilled this task properly, because I haven't described him right down to his socks.)

It's sort of supposed to be a "magic" list, provided that one is speaking from one's centre.

There's a lot of redundancy here, but I think it is mostly just right.

Sorry for the length. I will transcribe it EXACTLY as I wrote it. Some of the language is not GREAT. As in, I was consuming Guinness at the time. I'm not sure if I should add 101 to the list: LIVES in or is open to living in Europe for part of the year. Or, really, anywhere but Canada. :) And PS: This is a list of what I like, not a judgment of things that are wrong with other people. We all like different things, and I respect that.

1) Allows me to be my own person, to be independent (although not TOO independent - I'm not talking aobut not sharing interests or time together, being close
2) Likes me just as I am, even when I am being brutally honest. Wants to know every part of me and what I think. WANTS me to be my own person.
3) Pays attention to detail; notices, acknowledges and makes efforts to meet the needs of others.
4) Has a sense of openness and adventure. Understands that things are mutable: nothing is permanent.
5) Has an openness to spirituality, but an intellectual one.
6) Prefers simplicity above all else. Believes in quality, so doesn't mind if I buy a beautiful dress - in fact, embraces the idea - but doesn't need a big house or cars or lots of THINGS.
7) Takes care of his health - is physically active and feels passionate about being fit (in a spiritual way, e.g. as an endurance person but not a competitive athlete).
8) Vulnerable. Able to openly express his emotions.
9) Gut-wrenchingly honest!
10) Strong enough to do the right thing, to always live up to his responsibilities.
11) (undici) ARTISTIC IN SOME IMPORTANT WAY. CREATIVE.
12) Is not a "hockey" guy, likes sports that I would like: cycling, hiking, maybe even mountain-climbing, canoeing. Doesn't play traditional team sports, and is definitely NOT obsessed with watching them. UGH. :) Me dislike.
13) Warm and loving.
14) Sensitive to other cultures and passionate about learning about them.
15) Passionate about learning new things.
16) Able to be quiet, to understand introversion, to be silent, to just FEEL.
17) humble
18) likeable
19) willing to share the truth with me always - about money, feelings, fears..life.
20) Handsome is not even on this list, but he has to be someone whom I find to be physically attractive (obviously)
21) Smart, meaning anything in terms of education and qualification. But he is sharp. Fundamentally, deeply, he is completely in charge of an empowered by his innate abilities.
22) Sense of humour: REALLY able to laugh at himself.
23) Calm and patient, even in difficult situations.
24) A problem-solver. Able to accept change and difficult situations and to make lemonade from lemons.
25) Gentle
26) But masculine in terms of being able to stand up for himself and for others, so that I don't have to do this all the time! :)
27)A GREAT communicator, which I've conveyed above, but it can't be said often enough..
28) Likes movies.
29) Likes to read, and can tell me with interest about what he reads.
30) Likes, or at least to some degree appreciates, aesthetics, but not for stutus. He loves aesthetics out of something completely natural to his being.
31) Is able to move mountains, i.e. makes the time for what is truly important, no matter what.
32) Steady, solid. Well, I don't think I really mean steady. I mean grounded in his core, even though everything around him and superficial to him is changeable. Home is in his heart, and he acknowledges this.
33) Stimulates me with his ideas and interests, because he is always growing.
34) Sees the future as full of possibilities, and won't give in until the very last minute of life: does not want to sit in front of the tv!!!!! Needs to do, create.
35) Is willing to extend his energies to help/benefit others. Sees a life purpose in serving, but recognizes that nurturing the self and the family always must come first to make the second possible.
36) Interested in history, continuity with the past.
37) Likes a home to be simple. Likes it to be pretty but uncluttered - a place where people live and love. Definitely NOT a showroom.
38) Prefers people over perfection. Wants to have dinner parties, the remains of which we clean up THE NEXT day and not that night. Ugh. I hate that. Leave the dishes alone, please!
39) Likes good food and wine and good company, of course. OK, well, he can't live without these things, even though he likes to be alone and can spend long periods doing his own thing, too! (He prefers quality over quantity.) But he never likes wine or food or such things in a pretentious way!
40) Takes his time, goes slowly. Likes life to be savoured. Completely.
41) Wants to help me but can let me lead.
42) Passionate enough to physically express love and affection.
43) Not blind to problems or afraid to argue - seeks the deepest possible relationship that is always growing, and that is based on good communication.
44) Loves growing things
45) Treats small, weak things with care and attention - animals, plants, the old, the sick.
46) Takes chances/decisions based on love, even when they are very, very challenging.
47)Having said that, he's not an entrepreneur who takes grand, self-indulgent risks.
48) Definitely NOT obsessed with money or status, but a practical man who understands that one HAS to make an income. Money is a means to enjoy life. Not interested in someone who is power- or status- hungry
49) In fact, I am not interested in status at all. I am interested in love and thought and beauty. And so is he.
50) Disciplined, passionate.
51) Enthusiastic, interested.
52) Does NOT WATCH TV! I hate tv, except in very minimal amounts. It seems to be a waste of life, for the most part! And I agree with MFV that it rots the brain!
53) So physically I almost always like moderately tall - 5'10" and lean. It just feels right next to me. But this is not essential. See 20.
54) Sexually generous. VERY VERY important. :) Naturally.
55) Trusting but never stupid.
56) I can't say it enough: generous to others - willing to give them a chance, to take risks on them.
57) Willing to be a true partner, to share risk with me.
58) Careful with money, but not cheap.
59) Someone in whose presence I feel unadulterated joy.
60) Someone who will tell me the truth, even when it hurts, to make me better and to keep me honest.
61) Someone who wants to travel, which I think I've already covered. I mean, AN ADVENTURE MAN, please!
62) Someone who would consider living a completely different life than he had planned.
63) PAssionate, passionate, passionate.
64) Someone who doesn't mind storms, who sees difficulty as an opportunity for growth.
65) Someone who says that we are always, always a TEAM.
66) Someone who helps me to see the world in a different way, who opens me up to new experiences that surprise and change me.
67) Good shoulders, strong arms. :)
68) Long, strong legs.
69) Warm eyes, of whatever colour, that show emotion and that crinkle.
70) Likes Guinness.
71) Has tried a lot of things. Has been adventurous. Is a citizen of the world.
72) Really, a citizen of the world and an observer of humanity.
73) Loves music, very sensitive to music. Enjoys concerts - opera, classical, etc., etc. (Have I mentioned that M. can sing La Traviata from start to finish???)
74) Isn't afraid to accept criticism. Tries to change, wants to be a better person (just like me!)
75) Tender.
76)LOves my faults even more than my assets!
77) Likes simplicity anyway, but cares for the environment.
78) Wants to make changes, but is OK with small ones, one at a time. He accepts that every difference is a difference. Lives in a way that is conscious of his impact on others.
79) Is proud of me, no matter what.
80) Like the Mexican man, doesn't grow "old" in spirit - grows more curious, more passionate, more determined, with every year.
81) Here's the question: Do we have a child and go off on a wild adventure altogether? I really don't know. Do we find a way to be just us and soulful and free? Not sure. I think the latter. I think I'm over the child thing. I think I'm OK with it. But as I've been reminded lately, I often close doors too readily because I want there to be an answer/conclusion. SO be careful here.
82) Not needy, not dependent. Wants to be together out of love - not need, not weakness. Would never settle for a convenience relationship, e.g. a relationship just to have a child.
83) Loves his family, but is able to see that love is thicker than blood (in the sense that some relatives are more poisonous than helpful).
84) IS OK with the past, but doesn't forget it. Appreciates hardship because of what it taught him.
85) Helps me to love first and reason later, i.e. to give up my mind loops.
86) Gives me special things that he has made with his own hands.
87) Understands the importance of now.
88) Loves my body. I mean, really loves it. :)
89) Loves art. With passion and in a critical, educated way.
90) Soulful, warm, of the earth.
91) Able to be totally vulnerable - sexually honest, human. I want that. I want the whole person.
92) Open to words, language. A heart as open as the sky.
93) Well, except that he will choose to love me, only, romantically-speaking. I deserve that. I deserve to be adored. I think I want to be adored.
94) A person who lives in love, who has dispelled anger (though not skepticism).
95) A man of dignity, class, hope and peace. With plenty of fire simmering under the surface, of course.
96) Character, integrity to fill up a room.
97) A man strengthened beyond sadness, but sympathetic to it.
98) If only he could see how beautiful he is! He is so beautiful. But he loves himself in any event, so it doesn't matter.
99) A man who will dance with me in the kitchen and out into the garden. Really. I mean that.
100) A man who always takes my hand.

So yeah. You can laugh. He doesn't exist! Well, maybe on the front of a paperback novel. I'm kidding. I actually think that he exists. He's just rare, unusual.

But anyhow. This is my secret, ideal list. It's secret because it's been there FOREVER and has never been written down.

OK. So now it has. I challenge you, universe, to make this possible. And I also challenge anyone who wants to to write down his or her own list. It need not be shared.

:)

9:35 p.m. - 2008-10-13

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next

other diaries:

stepfordtart
ohell
awittykitty
annanotbob
manfromvenus
smartypants
fifidellabon
hungryghost
hissandtell