enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Well, so it might be.

Here I am. Back.

I didn't really like my new diary much, honestly, although I'll likely cross-post there.

Being away did aid greatly, however, as I'd accumulated a couple of trolls here and didn't particularly want to endure their random remarks anymore.

Tonight, I am skipping my italiano class. I've learned, however, that a good sunset is worth a thousand "You OUGHT to have gone! You OUGHT to have gone!"

I'm heading to Italia for seven weeks, in 3 weeks' time. Lovely, no?

It will be an altered trip from the one originally planned, but alteration when it alteration finds can sometimes be...beautiful. I think so, anyhow.

I won't be taking the extended drawing course, for example. This is because I've been having trouble with my vision. It seems that I have no serious neurological illness, but an extended bout with vertigo has thrown me through a loop. I'm finally coming out into the light at the end of a long tunnel, however, or so it would seem, and so I'm looking forward to advancing my soul, if not my drawing capabilities.

And of course Andrea, doll that he is, is still very much in the picture. He takes such wonderful care of me and I have no doubt that this visit will be illuminating. I'm throwing it all in, with no expectations, other than that I will never wish I had done anything differently.

A very fortunate thing about being ill without diagnosis for a long time, is finding out that it really is now, it really is finite, and you're not super-human, no matter what. I always knew these things, but confronting them face on is a gift, in a way, because knowing and feeling are entirely different. It's not a though I haven't read that fact and attempted to consume it repeatedly in my life, but when it's there it's THERE.

Or perhaps I'm simply of limited capacity.

This year it all happens.

Oh and I think I have pneumonia right now, but that should be short-term. It's not getting worse, anyhow, and I think yesterday I started to get better. Still, bloody asthma! And bloody doctors. Very tired of that lot. But thankful, too.

XOOX DOLLS!

7:18 p.m. - 2011-03-30

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