enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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All about me.

Hello!!

The weather has been totally SHIT in Europe since I've been here - completely unusual and very wet in Italy - but I've been making the most of it. The only real problem has been that the clothes I brought are inappropriate. IN the last few years it was hot, hot, hot in Florence, so I brought largely skirts and tops and little cardigans. I was hoping to look and feel springy. I've been wearing the skirts and tops but with a sweater overtop and a voluminous trench that I bought in London. Oh well, cosi e la vita!

So...the news. Yesterday I had a nice day. Even though it was raining ridiculously, I put on my grotty rubber shoes that I usually wear to the gym and trudged about outside. I went to the Cap3lle M3dici, which I'd never seen before. It is hideously ugly in the main capella, but then there are some Michelang3lo sculptures to make up for it. :)

Afterwards I went to my favourite square (Santissima Annunzi@ta) and sat for a long while. I tried to draw the church, under the awning of the hotel on one side of the square, but it was too drippy and there were pigeons about so the drawing didn't turn out very well. Still, I greatly enjoyed myself and watching the life of the square, as I always do, and "no day without a line." (That is my new mantra.)

After drawing, I was chilled through to the bone, and so I went to a little pizza cafe near the Duomo that I used to go to with Joan. It was peaceful there and I sat and read my Italian grammar book.

Andrea. Andrea is the sweetest, loveliest man ever. At the outset, I will say that I can't have a relationship with him. I certainly would do, however, if our lives could in any way connect. He cares for both his 88 year-old father who has dementia, and his 81 year-old mother who has osteoporosis. He has let me into his world and his worries in the last few days of spending the afternoons/evenings together, which has been very enlightening and wonderful.

Yesterday, we went to San Gimignano. It's unbelievable to me that this wonderful man would take it upon himself to take me out to the countryside and show me all of the towers and views from this little town (which I have never seen). He took me to a little caverna I think it was called (sort of a dugout restaurant in a cellar in which they would have stored wine at one time). It was truly fantastic. He taught me tons of Italian (as he has been doing since I arrived), and when we arrived back quite late he took me to see different views of Florence at night.

Andrea and I are very, very similar. Our values and interests and principles align. We have so much fun together. In spending time with him, I can see how inconsistent and ridiculous Marco is, and I think that's the message in this. Unfortunately, I can't be with this one, but there ARE a few very, very wonderful men out there. I just hope that there is one as lovely in Canada.

As for the sex bit, which you might all be wondering, Andrea is too respectful and kind to expect anything in return for his generosity. He doesn't want me to have the embarrassment of going to a hotel with him, which to him wouldn't seem cool. So kissing in the car will have to do! :)

It's all very, very cool. So the interesting part, which he told me yesterday, is that he almost died a year and a half ago. He had been born with a defective heart valve. He elected to have a difficult surgery last year before it got any worse. He had told me that he had gone through something in life that made him wake up each morning and be happy to see the sun, but I didn't think it was something like this. I had assumed that he was referring to a broken heart or something like that. The Italian language is very expressive! But no, it was something quite different.

Anyhow. All told, he is a completely amazing person. He said, "I like the idea that you can have someone very far away thinking about you at the same time as you are thinking of them." He also said, "I hope you remember that you always have a friend on the other side of the ocean. Maybe I will become a very good swimmer."

SO it's all cool. I shouldn't say pansy stuff like this but I think I was meant to meet Andrea in order to dispell the doubts I have had about it being possible to meet a nice man over the age of 40. There are a few out there.
So I can go back home with both a little bit more hope and also confidence in myself, because he thinks I am 1) attractive; 2) cultured; and 3) intelligent. He told me that he thinks I don't understand how "high" I am and that he has only met two women before (one of whom was his girlfriend) who were similar in his esteem. So how good does that make a woman feel? Pretty fucking good.

OK. Sorry for the ramble about me. It's FREEZING today, but I've put on the sloppy shoes with a skirt. I bought some heavy TIGHTS in London, which I am going to put on. I'm going to pick a few churches and meander today. ANdrea has family stuff and so I won't see him until tomorrow. I'll intermittently draw and sit in cafes reading my Italian grammar.

I've really had a great time. I always have a great time when I travel.

La vita e bella. Oh and PS I think I might go to ROme for a few days in the middle of the week, e.g. Wednesday through Friday. I do love Rome. I think I'm going to book a really nice hotel.

Incidentally, C. did a weird thing and 1) broke up with his girlfriend and 2) decided to fly to Germany next weekend for four days to see a concert and to visit a friend who is visiting from Australia. I think it's very cool. C. is never spontaneous, so I think he's trying really hard at the moment to break free and try things out. I didn't comment on the girlfriend thing, but I did tell him that sometimes you have to make mistakes and try new things and fall down...in order to figure out who you really are. In fact, I think that all of that is pretty much essential.

OK. Off to NOT miss breakfast today. XOXOX

8:53 a.m. - 2010-05-16

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