enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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A little bit disappointed

Hey dolls,

Woke up marginally grumpy this weekend, only I know that it's only because I don't have any plans for the weekend.

The gossip girl at work did email me about the food and wine show, and I should have accepted, but I didn't. So my own fault.

I really need to get this apartment organized, of course, but I don't feel motivated to do it. Next weekend, I'm thinking, I'll paint hte living room and dining room. Unfortunately that also means painting the front hallway and the main hallway and the spare bedroom. I want to hire painters, but that would be expensive. So I won't.

I feel a bit stuck today. I go to Italy and I have fun and I meet nice people. And then I get back here and I never meet any interesting people (where are they? They must be here.).

I'm guessing that it's more a matter of distorted perception on my part, although at break in French yesterday I sat in the busiest coffee shop downtown and tried to be friendly and no one paid any attention to me.

I could go to the food and wine show, I guess, only what I heard yesterday about the lines made it very discouraging. Also, going by myself isn't that appealing.

I guess I'll end up staying at home. Maybe I'll get on the 'net and try to find something else going on in this town and force myself to do it.

I suppose I ought to sign up for another class. I'm not meeting anyone in my drawing class. It's a rather old and quiet group.

Ah well..I'll figure it out. No need to get all panicky today. I'm just tired of being alone here in grey, grey Ottawa. All of the light being on another continent is not enjoyable. I have a feeling that Gian Andrea is going to call me this weekend as well, which will only serve to reinforce that I can't seem to live here and that although men here don't give me the time of day men in Europe seem to find me charming, pretty and classic. Frustrated.

XO

9:17 a.m. - 2009-11-07

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