enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Heavy

Today was a heavy day.

I was sooooo tired, because of waking up in the middle of the night worrying about money.

I mean, no need to worry - I always do this after I dive into a decision that has in fact been well-reasoned but that involves a big change. I must worry about something, you know!

So work was not great. I won't go into the details. I wasn't very focused for part of the day.

Late in the day I left a bit early to meet my landlord's son. When I got to the house there were people looking at it, which is what will happen but is quite intrusive, of course. But R's son is so kind and wonderful that he relieved me of my misery right away and told me that they have no problem with me moving out on November 1 and that I won't forfeit my deposit. He then invited me out for coffee and we had a nice chat.

I don't know what it is about me - you'd be surprised from this diary - but people often confide in me. He told me all about his life - his problems with his dad, his schitzophrenic wife, etc. Don't worry - he was very gentlemanly and wasn't hitting on me. He's a very, very nice man.

I don't know how to explain it but of course it was a nice conversation and it felt good to be treated with such kindness and respect by the family. It is a real testament to R. that his family is so kind.

So...that was good.

And then I went to my new place to sign the lease and everything went well. The superintendent is really nice and funny and we had a good chat. The sun was setting as I left and the neighbourhood looked so pretty. Walking down the street I ran into a colleague, too, who it turns out lives around the corner.

Still, change is very difficult for me. This is of course especially true with expensive change. Now, of course, the deal for me is to forget all about it and relax (after renting a moving van, that is).

Instead I went to C's who it turns out had made me bruschetta and bought me a "moving" strawberry rhubarb pie!

I was kind of mopey though and made my sad puppy eyes as we watched Hous3.

Now I'm tired. I need to turn the brain off. It's all going to work out, and sooner than later I will get my next promotion and I won't feel so badly about paying a higher rent in the new place.

I was at C's kicking myself for not waiting here to see if someone buys who will retain the rentals (apparently they are still showing the house, so it remains a possibility). But there was enough downside risk that I suppose it was perfectly rational for me to decide to move.

I don't know. I'm rambling and feeling rather stressy.

I need to focus on work tomorrow though and so I will try to forget about all of this. It's only money. :)

XO Oh! And by the way, I'm a complete moron! I had misremembered the apartment. The configuration and it being the side of the building is all correct, but I'd remembered too many windows. In fact, there are two rooms that are joined in the main living area. They both do have windows, but the dining area by the kitchen has a window on the west wall only and not also the north wall. The living room has the large window on the north wall. And my bedroom has a window on the north wall. The other bedroom has a window on the east wall, and the bathroom has a window on the south wall. The kitchen has a window onto the balcony and both face west.

I really don't mind. I have only one southern exposure window in my current place - the skylight. And these windows are big enough that there will certainly be more than enough light.

OK. More rambling is done.

10:32 p.m. - 2009-09-21

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