enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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I'm so grumpy and angry at the boredom of my life and the fact that I have to tolerate the vulgarity of the senior economist. But the light has appeared in the tunnel!

You know that you hate your job when...you are sneaking a peek at articles about the use of the subjunctive and wishing that you could be elsewhere.

I am sorry that I did not have the time to read or comment on journals last night. I went to the film (lovely!), and then when I got home I had received an email from Joan to which I wanted to reply. She sounded a bit down about her life - in ways to which I can completely relate (isolation, not fitting in in her environment, not being stimulated aesthetically by her environment, wanting to make a decision to move or change but being afraid, etc.)- and so I wanted to respond in depth immediately.

At the moment I continually want to write in French. My thoughts are a bit garbled in English; I've been speaking or thinking about French or even Italian so much lately. I just wrote a piece and sent it off in French.

In a way I wish that the woman yesterday hadn't encouraged me to have dramatic, crazy thoughts about what I could do in life. Because now that the thoughts have been reimprinted, I really - and I mean REALLY - have no will to be here.

I just deleted a whole bunch of paragraphs intended to come subsequent to the last one, but you do not want to know about the extended ennui of my life. That I can save for the psychologist's appointment this evening.

Last night's film was sweet and cheerful. I enjoyed it and enjoyed being in the audience. Tomorrow will involve yoga and brunch with a friend and two films at the fest. Should be great!

Enjoy your weekends!

12:52 p.m. - 2008-11-21

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