enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) I'm here now (and I know that the photo is crooked, like me and my perception of things!) Diaryland Diary)

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Bella figura

Two TINY bits of news. I found an Italian for Beginners class commencing in September!

Only thing is that registrations don't begin until Sept. 2. So I must put it on my calendar.

The other thing is that I haven't yet booked my hotel. I'm feeling cheap all of a sudden again! (I'm soooooo filled with guilt. It's dreadful. And I haven't even done anything yet.)

It's soooo difficult to change oneself. I'm feeling lonely and yet I haven't done any of the things that I'd planned with respect to courses and getting to meet new people. I didn't join a cycling club this summer. I didn't take a drawing course this summer. I'm a bit of a disappointment.

I know: Focus on the present, the future, whatever, and believe. I'm not good at this!

Yet.

I will hopefully have the art class AND the Italian class this fall.

And if a miracle occurs at some point, I might actually have a boyfriend other than an imaginary once or twice a year Italian one. I know that the secret for me is just getting out in public. The only time I've been to a party this summer I was asked out by a nice guy. Stupid me didn't even accept. Oops!

The imaginary Italian one is good. I wonder if I've simply on some level wanted to wait to see him again and to savour the little fantasy a little bit longer.

Yes, I do think like this.

So for a very weak bit of amusement, I found this suggested on a forum as a means of "grading" men:

A = You are gainfully employed, have clean clothes, know how to use a condom. B = You support yourself with "gigs", own toilet paper C = You have all your teeth

Maybe that's the point: I set the bar way too high as a rule.

10:27 p.m. - 2008-08-26

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