enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary
"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh
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Monday is by far the longest day of the week, is it not???
Oh my brain is swirling. I can feel the lack of protein in my body. I didn't eat particularly, stellarly well today. I had a bagel with cream cheese and cucumber for lunch (I love cucumber!) and then when I arrived home just now I ate a few wedges of chocolate.
Not enough!
I must cook.
But before I do I will drop down a few notes.
Benoit is crazy. He's trying to work me like a dog and he's so GRUMPY whilst doing it. I just don't understand it. It must be because he anticipates missing me when I'm gone. Not sure. He was so moody today.
But then again...perhaps it has nothing to do with me!
Larry actually - in all of his stupidity :) - once told me something useful. (Imagine that?!) He told me that with everything involving the way that others react to you there is a good way and a bad way to take it. And he suggested that he used to always look for the negative interpretation, when as often as not the positive (or at least neutral) interpretation was the correct one.
I think that this is good advice.
He was useful for something.
OK so he was useful for two or three things... :)
Anyhow.
So last night I wrote down some brief notes. The challenge will be to figure out what they mean.
1) I was thinking that I could write a book about finding love, and in this I am referring to my post of yesterday. My title would say absolutely nothing about men :), but instead would be, "From despair to love, in 14 short years and 14,000 diary entries!"
So a propos, no?
Presuming that in another 10 years and 13,500 entries I actually manage to find love. ;)
Otherwise 2) I was thinking about Benoit's reaction to my absence last Friday. His immediate reaction was that I must have had an overwrought emotional response.
It's rather annoying, that. Because I kind of believe that women are on average actually more rational than are men. With him I got out my frustration by telling him what he had done wrong on Thursday. And then I went home and forgot all about it - memory disk erased by the next day.
But instead of anticipating that I would be fine, he assumed that my frustration with him had lingered and that I had broken down with fatigue and upset. Very odd.
I think that some men would benefit from realizing that in some ways women have more control over their emotions than do men, because they are more used to driving that car around. At least I think that that is true. This control, self-understanding and...yes, rationality...is perhaps why "hell hath no fureeeee like a woman scorn3d."
Don't you think?
I mean, rationality is required for revenge to be served cold. :)
Anyhow. I'm truly babbling. You'll forgive me.
OH! I have another funny Benoit story.
Poor, dear Benoit.
Recall that he is a francophone.
This morning he sent me a cartoon containing the punch line "Has anyone ever told you that you are needy?" (It was a Dilb3rt cartoon; he forwards them to me every day, so there was no hidden message today in particular.)
He said that he thought the line a good one and that he was going to use it in future.
And of course I felt the need to put the brakes on that one and tease him a little bit about it.
I mean, apart from "Yes, dear, maybe you've put on some weight!" can you think of anything worse to say to a woman than "Has anyone ever told you you are needy?"
That is if you are ever interested in having sex with this woman again. :)
I'm truly meandering.
So number three or so on my list yesterday was the comment that I got notification from my organic, local farm that my basket of goodies will be arriving every Friday from now on! I am so excited! And I was particularly excited because I realized that I recognized the names of the farmers and that they are this cool, gay couple. So I had these awesome visions of getting wonderful decorative baskets (becasue food tastes so much better when it looks good; the Japanese have this completely correct). I know, I know, stereotyping. But the farm coop in which my mother is a member always self-ornaments and twists and arranges the vegetables and herbs so beautifully that the basket is a veritable work of art when it arrives.
I hope that mine is the same. :)
What else?
Oh. I was thinking 4) about why Dan (friend with whom i had dinner on Friday) and I could never be a match.
At the end of our dinner he made me promise that I would go sometime with him to the book superstore. The goal in doing this would be to find the book that has 180 birdsongs. Apparently every single page has a picture of a bird and a recorded associated bird song.
His suggestion and first thought was that we should go to the bookstore and open up every single page and listen to all of the birdsongs.
My first thought was, "EEEEEK NO! I love to go to the bookstore and browse and sort of meditate by so doing, so someone playing 180 birdsongs would start to irritate me. I can't invade people's public privacy like that!"
And he said, "That's the point - you irritate people even though you are infusing their lives with something lovely. "
I just couldn't do it.
We disagree on this point.
He's a charming and lovely dude, however, and surely would calm the angered breast of anyone in his presence.
5) Is there a 5? I can't seem to read my notes. THere is something scribbled down about fear in my heart about the tax system. I guess because I'm shortly supposed to be an expert about it, and also because I am definitely not there yet. But then the nation has no clue either - witness the cross-country call-in show on the national broadcaster yesterday, oy yoy oyoy ooy oyoy (there seems to be some law of the universe that mostly the most ignorant people of all feel the need to voice their opinions on national radio, but I digress... :)))- and so, well, whatever. :)
No more nightmares, enfin!
Hmm... what else.
Well I've been noticing something lately that is REALLY annoying me.
I used to be a size 0 or 2, or an xs or a s.
Unfortuately these days everything - and I mean EVERYTHING - is too big for me.
And I'm telling you this even though I DO NOT WEIGH less than I did when I was running. I have gained a couple of inches and pounds, if anything.
But the thing is that I SWEAR that they have sized everything up. I'm going to have to start trying on petites, or shopping in the junior miss department.
IT's CRAZY.
The problem with petites however is that I am 5' 7" with proportionately long legs and regular woman-sized arms. So everything is too short.
It's quite a conundrum.
I've noticed it in the last couple of years. The tops are particularly frustrating, as I look like a kid in a nightgown in most of them.
That's what you get for having a 32" rib cage.
Ugh.
Anyhow, I shall not complain.
Actually, last week, I went shopping at the hipster store, where everything is small. It was kind of funny. Me, a nearly 40-year-old woman, and these hot little early-20s numbers. They love it - it's like they almost get to dress mom in "cool stuff." There's a girl there called Dana whom I particularly like - beautiful with long flowing blonde hair and good taste. She gets me to try on stuff I would normally not look at, though nothing too flashy, revealing or "young." The result is kind of hip and sweet...and I have a couple of nice tops in different colours and a pretty purple-y pink sweater with little puffy sleeves, to pair with the awesome jeans that I bought last winter.
Anyhow. That was an aside.
Oh who am I kidding? These are all asides.
I need some protein. I think I'll make some fish and roasted potatoes. :)
THat's it for now. I hope that some of this makes sense.
ACK! Before I go...I forgot to mention the saga of baldy. I only saw him from afar today. I'm becoming obsessed. I feel the time ticking. I noticed today that he is not only signed up for my Thursday interval spinning class but that he is signed up for class tomorrow. Only tomorrow's class is a short-y - 30 minutes and at 11 a.m. So I'm thinking that signing up with the 3 other people signed up would look WAYYYY too obvious. So I resisted. I shall wait until Thursday. Of course I have not forgotten that I have already decided that he is likely married. :(
|8:02 p.m. - 2007-11-05
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Come al solito - 2011-04-16 unfettered spending - 2011-04-15 How does it go? - 2011-04-14 Whirlwind. - 2011-04-13 bleak that flips over to daffodil - 2011-04-08 |