enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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In short, choose to get a grip!

UGH. Right now work is rather unbearable. I was assigned a really interesting project today and then that annoying senior economist I've talked about before hijacked it. I was walking home from work trying to convince myself to just let it be and enjoy life, which is of course the mature thing to do. At least I have a job.

I got an email from Andrea, which made me feel much better, of course, but now I feel guilty for needing that.
I also felt guilty for wondering why he hadn't written. He had told me he had to go to Bologna for some special medical tests for his mother, and they ended up having to stay over. He sounds very harried. And very kind...

Oh well! I am never satisfied, am I?

I think I ought to eat something and relax and maybe go for a run. That will make me feel better.

Mostly, I feel like such a fool for constantly needing to be propped up by this or that, and constantly brought down by stupid this or that. For example, today I took in my favourite lilac summer dress to the cleaners so that I can wear it to the garden party on the 16th. I took it to the cleaners at work, which I've always thought is expensive, and I got ripped off. That made me feel bad for at least an hour, and I still feel bad about it now.

IT never ends. I need to do something about this. Right - o. Time to draw.

But first! I am also pissed off because I got suckered by the dentist into going in for something that isn't covered by my insurance. I really don't want to pay for it.

OK. Enough whinging. I don't know why I feel the need to whinge. I've read so many terrible articles lately about poor people with terrible problems. Get a grip, EB! (It's called dissatifaction with work, no sex life, and a hunger for something richer and more meaningful.)

Oh but isn't it the case that one always neglects to mention the good things. I had a lovely chat with my doctor this morning. HE said that it is always refreshing to talk to me when I come in, because I have an emotional awareness and common sense that many people lack. Bon. I really like and respect my doctor, because he has a wonderfully dry sense of humour and tells things as they are. Special.

7:28 p.m. - 2010-06-03

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