enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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A little bit down, but I'll work on it.

Do you know how stupid I am?

I mean, really.

I had forgotten that with the deficit we're under fiscal restraint, but also that more is expected. I don't think I'm going to be able to change jobs in the next year, I mean, because it seems that ministries are not replacing people . I suppose I had thought it wouldn't be that acute. There's always so much movement in the lovernment. I had assumed that there simply wouldn't be new hires, I guess.

Oh well. At least I have a job. It was pretty unbearable yesterday though.

But on to other topics!! Let's not go into the details.

I do miss my little biologist. Acutely. It seems so cruel that I would meet what seems like the perfect guy for me and I can't be with him! ARGH! He even wrote me the perfect email on Thursday night, about how the light was just as I like it right at the moment of his writing and so he was recalling with tenderness me and my "frog" camera (he thought the sound of my camera was funny). He wanted to be here to "cook for me when I got home from work."

Please, come on over.

:)

But as Fifi said a couple of entries back, the best thing to do is to do what I was doing when I was there and ALREADY I knew that it would be an impossible task to have a serious relationship with him: see the beauty in what is.

It was great. My confidence got a boost by being with a wonderful man who clearly adored me.

It's all good.

***

This morning there's a giant garage sale in my neighbourhood. Everyone coordinates and has a garage sale. I have to admit - call me a horrible person - but I loathe everything about garage sales. It seems so pathological to go around and buy other people's junk! Sure...if you really need something...I don't know. It seems creepy to me. But I understand why. It's because my mother loves garage sales. She can't resist them. Saturday morning after Saturday morning of driving around...

So, that was a cheery start to an entry!

This weekend I am going to prime the yellow walls of my apartment. I still can't decided what colour to use for the atual paint. I keep on changing my mind. I KNOW! Terrible. I'll put the white primer on and hopefully I'll be inspired. I had settled on a soft colour called japonica (sort of a nude shade, like a pink rice paper, or a delicate pink flower), but now that it is hot outside and there is so much light in my place I am seeing delicate, pale greens or blues to cool the light. Our extreme swings in temperatures are a problem, I tell you! :)

I'm also going to get up early tomorrow morning and go cycling. They close the roads in the wilderness park on Sunday mornings, so all of the cyclists go out. It's more enjoyable without cars going up to the lookout.

Anyhow...will try not to get depressed. Will try not to get depressed. Really, the trick is going to be to try not to get isolated. I know it's going to be a while before I meet someone nice to date, but I can't just stay at home all of the time. I need to get out and do things.

Did I mention that I've already bought a ticket to the Italian opera garden party (it's in two weeks)?

Most of all though, I know that what I need to do (and am going to do) is focus on the art. I saw what it is exactly that I want to do at the exhibition of the art school in the Bard!ni, so I have a goal. I just have to start. I've even picked out my summer art class, which will be on Monday and Wednesday nights.

It'll all be OK!

And of course I am going back to Florence in September or October. Not for long, but I'm going. Photos after I have my coffee!!

Flowers that Andrea bought for me for my birthday:

That was really sweet.

On the second day that I was there I got up and strolled around neighbourhoods familiar to me, looking for unfamiliar details:

I had a mantra (actually I have one at the moment) for happiness: "Look for the colour purple." That's easy in Florence:

Santa Mar!a Nov3lla is always a favourite (you'll remember it from Anna's wonderful drawing):

I love the way the Duomo just rises up as you leave the square:

In the evening, Andrea took me to the cafe Flor!an, which was lovely:

That's where he bought me my little ladybug (coccinella), which is at my desk at work. Sorry, no photo!

He's not doing his usual smile here, unfortunately:

This is my favourite Florentine light, on which he remarked:

***

So, my silly problem at the moment at home is that a pigeon is nesting on my balcony. I mentioned that the other day!

The thing is though that she has one hatched baby and at least one additional egg, so I am afraid I can't get rid of her now. Oh well! It's nature.

:)

It's much colder today so she is huddled over them and her feathers are fluffed. Nature is pretty neat. What a job - standing watch night and day over little chickies. A woman's work is never done.

OXOX

7:29 a.m. - 2010-05-29

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