enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Just boring old me again! :)

OK. I am back.

I know - I'm the Queen of Boring Drama!

Anyhow. I'm OK. I think I try too hard to be the perfect person, but as C. pointed out to me, we all have our moments of not being very pleasant or attractive. I had one of mine last night.

I think I understand now that my needs are more extensive than are his. He is happy with things that would never satisfy me. Also, I realized something interesting. He is an immigrant here. He has always craved a settled existence, because his dad was in the military, he was a shy kid and didn't have many friends, and then he didn't stay in one place for his advanced education. To him, the stuff that I grew up with and that bores me to tears is fun and exotic.

So that's that. I can't compare myself to anyone else, either. I will get where I need to go in my own time, on my own path. I just need to have confidence in that. I'm on my way. Maybe it will mean ending up here and making peace with it, or maybe it will mean somewhere else and something else. I don't know yet.

XOX

7:14 p.m. - 2010-04-28

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