enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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thank you thank you thank you

You guys are wonderful. Thank you very much. I know that a lonely single life is better than compromising myself on a relationship that wouldn't fit me. Sometimes, however, the doubt enters my mind. For example, there's that nice guy I met a couple of weeks ago. I feel that he is not sufficiently intellectual/informed/thoughtful to keep me interested, but then again he is a nice person and he is very interested in me. Perhaps I should give him a chance?

At any rate, I don't want to think about that right now. What is preoccupying me is actually my work. I haven't been going above and beyond in the last couple of weeks. I don't like it when I can't fire up the motivation. I might be a little bit burned out, but more likely it continues to be that it's difficult when you're not passionate about something to go above and beyond. I don't feel intrinsically inspired by my work at the moment. I'm usually very good at disciplining myself, but in the last couple of weeks I've found my mind drifting. I suppose it's because I'm tired.

All that said, I really do know that I need to be consciously grateful for my job and what it has afforded me. Without this job, I wouldn't be able to move forward on my other dreams.

Thanks again. I hope you have a lovely day. It's grey and chilly here but I feel in very fine spirits, for some reason. I feel as though this diary is endlessly silly, repetitive and boring, but I do believe that I benefit from this in developing an understanding of what is driving my responses to things. I am ready to face the day.

XOXOOXOXOX

8:06 a.m. - 2010-04-27

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