enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Sleep and tulips

Not much to say!

How lovely to have an Ireland entry by Fifi to read this morning though. Terrific. I do so want to go to Ireland.

By the way, Fifi, my camera is also broken. I dropped it at C's race a few weeks ago and now the flash doesn't work properly. Without the flash it seems to be OK. Ah well - I got three good years out of it. I will have to replace it sometime soon with a similar model, I suspect.

So I was a good girl yesterday. I had rather a fun day, really. I did things around the house, but I also read and worked intensely on my fluffy pink sweater. I rode on my bicycle trainer, too. I have a plan to do that 40 km ride uphill (and then, forch, 40 km back downhill!) to the monestary outside of Florence that I did last year with Marco and Richard the accountant (the sweet American guy from Minnesota, who still writes to me). I was sad last year because that was the end of the "thing" that Marco and I had had, but this year it's all cool as I only think of Marco as a friend at this point. I kind of laugh when I think of thinking of him otherwise, now, to be honest, most of the time. He's wonderful...but he's also incredibly inconsistent.

That said, when I was talking with Marco the other day he said he would take me up to the monestary. I don't really trust that he will follow through, so I have plans to do it myself. The only thing that is somewhat wrong with that plan is the flat tire issue, so I am going to have to practise changing a flat again on my own bike and make sure that I take a kit with me. I suppose I could also call for someone from the bike shop to come and pick me up. That is likely what they do, anyhow. Nevermind!

So all that said, I need to have the legs at least marginally in shape for that. I am not in shape at the moment. I keep on relying on my mind that is willing to suffer to do the work for me - which is what I did last year, having not been on a bike yet in the season - but I do find that that is getting harder and harder to do. I did a hard workout running with C. a couple of weeks ago and it was hilariously difficult for me. I felt like I was going to die by the end of it.

So. The message is, kids, that the mind can't do all of the work. You also have to work the body. Shucks. Long run today then. I feel as though I'm in the army.

Otherwise though, yesterday was good. I went out and did some errands so that I will be able to do some pleasant cooking. I also worked a bit on my little Florence book. I didn't write anything, but I read a couple of things that I had wanted to read - research, if you will. I'm fascinated by accounts of Italy by people such as Charl3s Dick3ns and DH Lawr3nce. I don't know. There are so many. There's something that Italy does to capture that imagination.

The only sour note to my weekend is that although I went to bed early last night I slept waaaay long and woke up in the middle of bad dreams - paranoid dreams - about my job, my life. It's a terrible thing. As soon as things start going well I seem not to be able to truly rest in the pleasure of that, but rather worry that everything will fall apart. I wish I could just accept that I deserve the good things that are happening as a result of my hard work and persistence. Beat that into your head, girl.

So much time in a life wasted worrying, no?

OK. Had best go. I promised C. I would run with him this morning. Before that I need some coffee.

9:43 a.m. - 2010-04-25

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