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enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Sort of an explanation

Hi friends,

Well it turns out that I was just getting my period (oh and I have worked too much this year and need a vacation). I always have a crazy day before my period and sure enough...yesterday was it.

I don't take my moods out on other people, but I do feel them myself. I have stopped apologizing, however, for how I feel. People going around labeling everything has always bothered me - as has the "be happy" dictum - and so I'm glad I've finally graduated to this stage of acceptance of a variety of moods.

Buon!

I did a smarty pants thing today! I DIDN'T go to the work social. I continued working. As a result, I have sustained my cheery mood. Also, I have made no plans for the weekend, and I am unapologetic about this. I am going to stay home and run and cook and knit and read and draw. All of my favourite things (well except the running).

As for the trip, I am no longer worried about it. I have realized that there is no drama at all. Provided I get to London, which is looking pretty good, I can get to Italy in the minimum by train. And if, by some odd chance, I can't fly back from Italy through Frankfurt as planned, I really can buy another ticket. I don't even know why I would worry about this, because there is no problem. I can afford to buy two tickets if I need to. Or three. Or four. I am not poor. It is not in the budget, but I can take care of things. I don't know why I got into a knot over this. I really don't behave this way when push comes to shove. Maybe I was craving attention?

So. Buon. I am going to have fun. I simply love to travel. I am my very best, cheery happy self when I am traveling. It is so exciting to have one's eyes wide open and engaging in new experiences. I only wish that I had more time. Time is what I should be worrying about.

Buon. I am afraid that I have nothing else to say. I've had coffee with a few friends, organized a 5 a 7, turned down an offer to go to a concert tomorrow night. There's really not much to say. It all is as it is.

I think I'll make ravioli tonight and watch a movie.

A big hug!

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7:16 p.m. - 2010-04-23

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