enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Thoughts about shits

Quick idea. I need to rush to work.

This morning I was doing my morning pages and I realized that yesterday's entry was about NOT FEELING GUILTY FOR BUYING STUFF.

I'm responsible. I pay my bills. I give plenty to charity. I do the right things. Therefore, beyond that, if I want to buy a skirt or a pair of shoes...that is my business. I can't get over the guilt that my mother imposed on me whenever she bought me something when I was a kid. I like pretty clothes. So shoot me. I am going to get over this, dammit.

This morning, I put on my new skirt that I bought for work a couple of months ago. It is so lovely and looks like a neopolitan ice cream cone - with dashes of lilac and brown and cream. Me love it!

So. I was doing my morning pages and I was doing an exercise about colour. What colour am I? What thoughts come to mind? What adjectives? I love this exercise. The only problem is that I am so many colours. I don't have a favourite colour exactly. Sometimes I am wild and purple (lilac). Sometimes I am daffodil yellow. Sometimes I am brilliant tomato red. Sometimes I am green and fresh as the sea. Sometimes, when in my bedroom, I am grey and pink.

Anyhow. I suppose I know what colours I am not: rust, brown. Not really me. Even blue. I don't know. I have blue eyes, but I think of them more as grey.

So. This is getting too long. I need to leave.

Oh! I was thinking of what my dream situation would be. First, I would be a painter. But the other answer was suprising. I would also have another job, because I wouldn't want to turn painting into the thing from which I had to earn money. I would do it on the side. I would have a shop or some kind of artisanal business making paper or books or something...in Florence, of course. I think I would maybe also be an antiquarian and have old books. Maybe I would be a historian! Maybe all three.

OK. I really have to run. Love, lovelies.

8:47 a.m. - 2010-04-13

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