enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Maybe I was too lazy this weekend? Would I feel better had I accomplished more? Is this being too hard on myself?

Woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Not sure why. I went to bed early - actually wanted to go to bed early - and yet I am still tired.

Must be the sinuses or allergies. I'm just wiped out these days.

In the end C. didn't come over for chicken pot pie last night. It took too long to make and he had signed up for a sports clinic in the evening anyhow. Just as well.

I feel much better now, having done my morning pages. I need those as an anchor for my day sometimes, or rather they have a way of lifting my spirit when occasionally I wake up feeling cross. I think it's because they remind me that I am capable of change and that each day I can make a small adjustment find unexpected energy.

In a small bit of news though I just received an email from my Parisian friend. I haven't yet written to her about not coming. She is excited to be seeing me. Maybe I ought to go to Paris for those four days after all. I've canceled the hotel reservation but I am sure I can find another. I wish it were black and white - I'm terrible when I'm confronted with two positive choices. Why is that? Why do I have so much trouble??

Best jump in the shower and go to work. Pronto. XO

8:41 a.m. - 2010-04-06

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