enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Toujours, la verit�.

I know, I know, I've got to grow out of this...

but I felt ashamed receiving my award today.

I can't think of another way to describe it. I got called into the big boss's office and he and my boss gave me my award. All I wanted to do is shrink into the carpet. Walking home, even, I felt as though everyone must know and must be looking at me, recognizing that I am wrong, bad, an imposter.

All that said, I don't feel bad. I'm not sad or upset. I just feel this horrible, creepy-crawly feeling, and I'm worried that soon they will realize that I'm bad, terrible, no good...

I don't know. Those are the honest feelings.

Very tired, but I think I ought to go to the gym.

XO

6:46 p.m. - 2010-03-24

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