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enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Ah well.

Well, I'm in a perfectly bad mood!

Just kidding. I'm in an OK mood. I wasn't in the best head space today, really, although my work wasn't impaired and that is all I care about.

That sounds terrible, but it's true. These days I'm happiest when I'm working. I stayed until 7:30, and my colleague had told me to go home ages earlier, but I *wanted* to stay.

I went to the supermarket on the way home and an octagenarian was stalking me! Seriously! It was as though I were his long-lost granddaughter, or something, or someone he thinks he had an affair with during WWII.

I don't know.

I'm still being stalked with repeated emails from two guys from that dating site, but otherwise I have taken down the photos (the same as pulling it down).

Walking home I felt angry for myself for not being able to handle a little bit of shit falling into my life. But then I felt a bit of compassion for myself and I decided that since I'm happier reading, etc., etc., it's fair enough not to want to waste another minute of my life writing emails in reply to stupid, largely inappropriate messages. I wash my hands of it.

I should have gone to the art galler tonight, or done somethng arty, shouldn't I have?

Speaking of arty, I experienced a strong wave of regret today over the fact that I allowed C. to convince me to go to Paris after England. I don't want to go to Paris for my birthday, really. I should have listened to my own heart and booked a flight to Italy. Now, I have non-refundable train tickets between London and Milan. Really, I just want to fly to Italy and to be there and held in that light. :)

I suppose I could do it. It is a waste, but I'd probably be happier. I don't see any point in walking around Paris by myself. Sabrina is there, of course, and she's a lovely girl, but she'll be working most of the time anyhow.

I'm such an idiot for complaining when I have such a great life! Doh!

This is why I shouldn't write when I get myself into a tizzy. I know that all I need to do to correct the situation is to pick up a book, relax on the sofa. I have lots of interesting things to read.

Don't mind me - just being a bit snippy. But it's my diary, after all.

XO!

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9:01 p.m. - 2010-03-11

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