enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

il mio sogno nel cassetto

Not sure if I spelled that correctly, but the Italians have a cool expression. It's "dream in a drawer."

I know it's not good to haul out MY dream in a drawer today, but I want to move to Italy. I want to move to Florence, specifically.

:)

Today was a good day. I shouldn't jinx it by writing. I'd had a feeling that setting out with a distinct idea of what I did NOT want to do this weekend would help. And it did.

Today, in particular, I avoided rumination. I feel as though I'm a patient always on a nurse's watch, but so be it. I keep on checking in with myself to make sure that I'm doing all of the right things - being kind to myself, letting negative thoughts go, quitting with the worrying about such things as dudes.

So today was good. I actually wrote out a five-year financial plan, if you can believe it: all done in a spreadsheet, with income flows and outflows and so on. I know where I could be in five years. I find that looking at things this way makes them seem more doable. I always think short-term with respect to Italy, for example, as in "I can't do that this year."

But I could certainly go to Italy for three months in 2012. It would fit with my career (unless I were to get one of those postings - to London or Paris, for example - that will come up in 2013).

I started to get kind of excited as I laid out all of the possibilities. I even looked at real estate here, although none of that inspired any dreaming. I only dream of Italia.

Peculiar, but true.

But anyhow. I don't know what will happen. I realized as I laid out the straight road that what I really want to have happen is the bend in the road; not a nasty swerve in the road, mind you, but something fun and peculiar - like falling in love with a guy who writes adventure travel books and cruises around the world on a motorbike kind of peculiar.

I'm like that. I like the detours.

For now, however, I like the fact that I have that plan in my workbook and that "sogno nel cassetto."

Warms my heart.

I DID go out today. I went out to the coffee shop. Unfortunately, it was nothing like the coffee shops in Europe. The one I went to is a lovely little cafe and I think the owner likes me, but it's a tiny place and the door is constantly swinging. People were coming and going and constantly eyeing my table. It wasn't very restful. I wanted to take a photograph to show you, as I looked out the door - the sun was exactly as it was that day that I was sketching in the Bobol! back in October, and the picture would have been perfect. But we Canadians don't take photos in crowded little cafes.

:(

But...on my way from the coffee shop I stopped at the hardware store. I stopped and stared at the paint chips for a very long time. I think the dudes thought I was a bit nuts. In the end I have found my colours though! I brought the chips home and put them up on the wall to watch them as the light changed. In between, C. and I went for a run and then C. came by to offer his opinion on the chips. He was in agreement.

And that is that. I've made some dinner and I think I'll settle in on the sofa. The only thing I didn't do this weekend and wanted to do - I'm deeply chagrined - is draw. Wait - I'm going to rectify that and sit down at the table and draw.

Hope your weekend was as fruitful. XOX

8:12 p.m. - 2010-03-07

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next

other diaries:

stepfordtart
ohell
awittykitty
annanotbob
manfromvenus
smartypants
fifidellabon
hungryghost
hissandtell