enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Prepare to be amazed (worth repeating)...

Prepare to be amazed!

Not really!

Don't worry about me - I am super super super super great.

So here's the thing...

The last two nights as I was washing my face, at about 11 p.m., in my bathroom, I had a strange experience. Each night I sensed something black and static, that felt like death behind me.

It didn't feel as though I was about to die, or that anyone else was about to die, i.e. it didn't feel like a premonition. It felt static. It gave me a little shiver and each time I tilted my head back up and dried my face off.

So I wrote in my morning pages this morning, yadda yadda, had a few revelations...and then I was in my bathroom, looking in the mirror, and I thought, "I should remember and honour this day on which I had all of these very constructive revelations. I feel a profound sense of peace."

And that's when I realized it. February 23. It's the 21st anniversary of my father's death. I NEVER think of that. I don't think I've thought of it in years at all. I mean, as a specific date or anything.

And there you go.

I got to work and C. and I were coming up in the elevator after buying a coffee and...there was a woman in the elevator who went to my public school when I was in grade 7, just before everything fell apart in my childhood. I knew that she lived and worked here, but I've only seen her twice in the last three years. And there she was today.

I have to tell you: it feels as though I'm ready and I'm supposed to let the past go. It feels like that's it. This is the day.

This is the day!

Interesting, anyhow.

In other news, I'm very busy at work, but I still don't feel quite right about the trip plans that I've (tentatively) made. I hope you'll forgive me if I end up not coming to London/Paris, because I just don't know at this point. I need to let it sit until it feels right. I know you'll forgive me though, whatever I choose to do.

Work is tough but good; my promotion is being processed by HR.

So far, so good.IN other news though, those bastard Canadians are playing hockey again and other bastard Canadians are watching them, and they're all stuffing up my Internet connection.

I think I would like to go for a light workout at the gym and then study some French.

HUGS and BACI!

7:34 p.m. - 2010-02-23

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