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enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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morning pages magic persist!

I wish that the effect of morning pages could last longer than it did yesterday.

I disciplined myself to sit down this morning before doing anything else, and as a result I feel quite sane. I read over my entry of last night and couldn't believe the drivel in it. I mean, it was obvious when I read that guy's note that it was unacceptable to me. I told him no. But then why did I write about it and go on about it?

I don't know.

Yesterday, too, wasn't a bad day. I got up, told C. that I DIDN'T want to rush out the door to run. In the end we went skating for an hour around noon, which I loved. After that I returned home and snacked and listened to my favourite radio programs, read a bit, studied Italian at my lovely, clean art table, did some knitting. And that was it. It was a good day.

The truth is, and I didn't get to this, is that I wasn't really upset about Valentine's Day, per se. Valentines Day - I agree with Fifi - is quite impersonal. Half the people I know will have received something clich� from someone who felt they had to do something (and frankly if I had a boyfriend anyhow I would tell him NOT to buy flowers on such a day (donate money to someone who needs it, rather than spend double the usual price on some roses)). Maybe that's my Anglican guilt or something, but I can't stand waste.


Well, I suppose that V-Day at least helps the florists to stay in business.

Which reminds me of Mrs. Dallow@y. Herm!one Lee was talking in the biographer's epilogue about the Bond St. route that she used to take with her parents when she was a child, and how it was only much later that she discovered that that had been Mrs. Dallow@y's route.

I started to wonder from that why I am always so fascinated by maintaining some sort of a connection to dead Victorians?

That's a question worth pondering. Contradictions in philosophy? Irregular bathing?

I don't know. There's so much that I don't know.

I woke up early this morning feeling sort of stressed, but I got that out in my morning pages. What I didn't write though is that I managed to relax myself and get back to sleep almost immediately, and so go me!

It's all OK. I have to say that I feel I am actually making some progress in Italian. I know it has only been a couple of weeks and it is kind of stupid progress, but it makes me smile. This time, I think, I shall master Italian. There are worse ways that I could be spending my time in this lonely capital.

Oh and I was inspired this morning. I am not following the Olympics at all but I was heart-warmed by the fact that Canada's first gold medal came from a guy who was skiing on the inspiration of the difficulty that his brother has in doing even simple things with cerebral palsy. A deserved medal, dude, and a good reminder.

The clock is ticking and I must shower.

XOXOX

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8:18 a.m. - 2010-02-15

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