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enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Detritus.

Well I feel great.

I slept slightly too little. I woke up at my usual time, having gone to bed a little bit too close to 1. I'll take a nap later.

Last night was great, actually. It started out somewhat badly as I met up with C. and he was being a bit insensitve about the Valentine's Day thing. He tends to not care at all if I'm feeling lonely or left out, and I told him so.

But we got to the restaurant and then things were pleasant from there. My Chinese friend had chosen a really cool and homey little Chinese place. It was decorated to the nines, and we had a six course meal that cost us each only $20 (including beer!). I mean, wow! Practically free. Everything is expensive in Ottawa (I mean, nothing like Europe expensive, but still expensive by Canadian standards), so I was very happy that we did not blow the bank. I need to save every penny now so that I can go for my Italian course and enjoy it.

Also, I want to buy a few new clothes for spring. Nothing crazy, but a couple of cute tops, maybe a denim skirt, and maybe a dress or two (one sheath, something patterned). It's not that I haven't bought clothes in recent years, but I haven't bought much. I've kept it to a few investment pieces (good pencil skirts ordered online, a couple of good dresses for special occasions), plus functional pieces like a couple of white shirts and a few merino turtlenecks for winter. The "fun" has been missing. This spring I want to feel fun and sexy but still practical. I have that wonderful pink dress that I bought last spring, but that is not a day-to-day dress. I need some slightly more practical (and machine washable!) pieces.

OK. That was a boring run-down.

I started my morning pages this morning! They were very effective. They gave me a feeling of peace, although I did get distracted two times at least whilst writing to them. But I forced myself to get back to them, and then I felt better. I do think that they function a bit as "pipe cleaning" or something. I do feel more relaxed and fresh and open. I will keep this up.

I got up this morning and knew immediately that I needed to clean off my art table. It has been a disaster. That was definitely cramping my creativity. It gave me an excuse to put off drawing or whatever else. I've started to organize and hopefully that clean space will give me the open space in which to do some language and art study today.

I still have a monumental mass of crap to clean up that has accumulated on the armchair that is right by my door. WHen I come in, I throw things there. It's a huge pile of crap. I hate that. I will force myself to go through that today. It's like going into the corners of my mind and sorting out what I find there; contrary to all appearances I tend to avoid that.

XOOX Back later, I am sure. ECKS OH, as FIFI would say!

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9:08 a.m. - 2010-02-14

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